I saw him after 6 months at my graduation ceremony.

I'm supposed to blog about my Graduation Ceremony held at Convention Center.
(By the way, I just got home+bathed at 3am yet to sleep + blog first.)

Before even I get into this topic, I would like to blog out my feelings.

Reason? I saw him at the ceremony, he's on duty.
I guess my six sense towards these kind of things is always so true?

I wanted to really speak to someone about my feelings.
But I guess, my friends around me already sian-ed. :/

When the ceremony starts, he's the ushering the VIP. I was stunned. Immediately, I called up Weilin(he's my invited guest, cos Huimin+I went his graduation ceremony). I told him that I saw him. After the VIPs arrived and the National Anthem sang, we sat back at our seats.

My phone rings, 2 smses from Saen + Huimin. On twitter, 1 tweet from Fendy. Their tweet/sms are to tell me about him.

The moment I saw him, my heart beat went faster, hands turned cold. Reason? I'm nervous, he's here. When replying to my friends, the flashbacks came back.

When I was sat down by myself, my heart sank further. I feel like crying then.

I tweeted, I sms bff, Wilson. But then, I did not really tell much to them either. At the moment, I totally have no mood to talk to the friend beside me or anyone else.

I ever thought of getting out from the convention center the moment I saw him for a good crying.

Flashbacks: We attended ceremonies together. When it's my ceremony, he'll attend mine alone. (The last one was ITE Merit Award) When it's his ceremony, I'll attend his alone. (The last one was Lee Kuan Yew Scholarship) He feels proud for my achievements, and I felt the same for him, not forgetting taking photos together. Every time, when we attend each others ceremony, our parents will never tag along due to busy or cannot make it. The feelings is really very different, something like husband+wife.

When I saw him, the ceremony flashback came back. The flashbacks of us talking to each other, seeing each other, the period of time when we're together all came back. I know this matter has passed for half a year already, but I just can't help it but tears flowing down to the cheek.

When I saw him, it's a mixed feeling. I did not prepared to see him at the ceremony. I really thought I will not have to see him, but it's maybe a fate, a test if I've really forgotten about him, if I've really got over him? I guess, results shown, I'm still not.

When I saw him, the flashback of the way we talk to each other nicely comes back. The flashback of the not nice way of talking also back. There's too many flashbacks we had. Be it the unhappy or the happy ones, everything seems like just yesterday. The breakup seems like just yesterday too. My heart sank.


Yes, I would really hope that he'll actually feel happy for me on graduating. I would really hope that he'll wish me congratulations for on graduating. I would want to know what's his reaction when he saw me, when I'm on the stage. Did he look at me? Did he clapped for me? I find him nowhere after the ceremony.



Smiling hard when you're not in the mood is definitely not easy.


The detailed ones, happier ones with photos will be up in the next entry, maybe few days later or something.



Yes, I cried when writing this entry.