sigh!

The previous post is not a good one.
Totally D E M O R A L I Z E D.

Anyways, on the 16th, sudden called up by friend to go out for jalan+dinner. Thus, after dinner, we went for Kbox & catch the last train. (Literally last train; I ran for the last train for my first time. Ha!) &the moment I got onto the train, someone sat on the floor, resembles HIM so much. I stare and look, thinking if it was him anot. But luckily, it wasn't him. If it was him, I really dk how to face?

Then, was on a phone chat with Huimin + Weilin all the way from 1am to 6am on 17th. Chatted alot regarding r/s, studies. Talk about studies, it's once again back to university.

NTU, NUS - To appeal.
SIT - Awaiting for result, but mostly 10% passing rate?
Global SIM - Gonna think of one course that I'm going to apply. Registration fees is bloody expensive, $64.20.

I'm actually kinda happy for Huimin. She's so clear of her path now.
For me? I'm only stuck at "I want to go to university and continue to study." (I sounds like I'm comparing, but actually not. I'm just like dilemma in what path should I be at.) Sigh!

On the 18th, supposed to catch a movie with Bff, but we do not have any movies to catch, thus postponed. &timing was just so right, when movie was cancelled, another group of friends asked out for window shopping and dinner at Orchard. Almost going for another Kbox session, but timing dont fit, went home.

Today, went back to Orchard this morning at 11am to Tangs Private Sales. I've gotten myself Ralph Lauren Romance Perfume. $159 :) This perfume I really love it alot + many of the time, wanted to just write under my wishlist waiting for my friends to get for me. But, I've gotten it myself, finally like after 3-4years of waiting. I got to know this brand of perfume is from a sample, the moment I tried, I fall in love with it. Only he knows I like this perfume. Until today, then maybe more afew people know?

From the 18th onwards, as days nearing Graduation Day, I started to worry what if I would to see him during the Graduation Ceremony. I tweeted to ask for advices. Advices given: "Pretend not to see him, but if really happens to see each other directly, just give a smile." "Pretend never see each other, pretend as a stranger." "Say Hi if see each other." And I thought the best solution is "Pretend not to see him, but if really happens to see each other directly, just give a smile."

But today, I texted my friend who had attended the ceremony, she told me that she saw him. This means that I've a very high possibility of seeing him at the ceremony as well. What should I do? Right now, I really still thinking that we still might be friends? Like, at least, he'll come to me, congrats on your graduation? But come on, my friends will definitely scold me, "Wake up from my damn idea." Sigh. I really don't want to have awkward situation. I rather not to see him at all, otherwise, friends? Perhaps I really need the closure that sighz mama told me. Sigh sigh sigh! I thought of speaking to someone, but none in the list online able to talk too much about.

Tomorrow, I'm attending Weilin's Graduation Ceremony, 8am to be in school. I'm seriously scared to see him. If I'm seeing him as a friend, still not so bad. We're not friends at all? I will still run when I see him.

Does anyone really know about how do I feel? Sigh!

Ending my entry with the perfume that I've bought.


(Now I'm so confident that I'm so sure going to see him. He's on duty on 18th, my friend saw him today. Nevertheless, 20th + 21st he'll be there. HOW!?)