slept at 6am in the morning.. after blogging yesterdae, went to slack on bed.. sent a goodnite sms to him.. den out of mui surprise, he replied.. so mie and him sms-ed awhile.. den about 2plus.. we chatted on the fone. all the wae until around 5.45am.. cause he's on duty.. and we talked alot.. mani mani mani things said.. he himself felt lifeless in his life.. fer mie, i felt the same wae too.. how i wish i can help mie.. but i dunno wad to help him.. we talked about the 2weeks cooling off period.. he told mie he's sorrie and he tinks he wans mie to gib up, telling mie sorry fer gibing mie false hope..he wans to be alone fer now.. however, i dun felt disappointed.. rather, i told him.. i will respect his decision.. after tat call, i felt tat mie and him will not like kip in contact..

so i sent him one sms which goes like tis..

Sorry to disturb you again.. Actualli abt the things we said, i realli dun wish of any misunderstandings turn our frenship off.. No matter wat issit, do wad u wan, but dun make the people ard u to worry fer u.. must take care of urself.. tis time hang up the call, no one knoes when we r contacting again, so haf to take care lots.. another thing, hope when you book out, pls go to http://qx-fatedlove.blogspot.com.. spare some time on it.. Tat's all i wan to say.. Thanks fer leaving the swit memories fer mie.. =) Take care.. Please dun feel stress and pressurized.. I dun wish anything happen to tis frenship.. Cant b together doesnt mean cant b frens.. But, one question fer you, those u said earlier on when we r together, r they frem ya heart?

these are wad i sms-ed him.. and his replied goes lidat tis.. "Yes, I m not lying"
with tis reply, i did not sms him alreadi.. i feel like sms-ing him or call him.. but i dunno should i do so.. at this point of time, i dunno wad i can tell him.. i felt little helpless.. i mean, even though its a fren to mie.. i will also help mah.. but nw, he's someone i alreadi put love on him.. yet, i couldnt do anything.. do euu koe wad, wid tat sms of his.. i realli wish to tell him how mych i m missing him everydae, how often i tinks of him.. but all of his "i wan to b alone now" it backed mie off.. i din do it..i din mean tat all ish is fault.. i mean, sometimes ppl wan to be alone, so we shld leave it.. if not, things may get worst.. rather, everything on mui blog.. asked him to read mui blog, because i find tat he shld? i mean, its like, everything in mui blog, mui feelings, mui thinkings.. everything ish here.. i dun wish to see him taking things into such a meaningless thing when there's someone here, worrying fer him, thinking of him etc..

he said "i think euu give up bah" somehow or wadever, i tink i shld in the 1st place.. mayb leave everything to fate.. but in mui 2nd thought, i felt tat.. mayb all he nid ish more time.. i dunno.. mayb people will sae i m foolish.. but, tat's how i feel like.. in conclusion: leaving it to fate plus gibing him more time.. wid more time, fate will also come by.. by the end of the time, we will koe wad ish our path.. mayb if one dae, he's wid another ger.. it shows tat he's not meant fer mie.. if he is, den he will not go off?

really dunno when we will b contacting.. i dunno.. i hope we will be nothing.. we wun haf to face such a "testing" .. or rather, be a veri veri veri good frens..

mayb had alittle mood swing le.. after his call, went to bed.. den woke up at 1plus, talked wid shuchun, around 2plus, hang up the call.. went to bed again.. din wan to wake up at all.. wanted to sleep all the wae.. tomorrow, working again.. had tis sudden urge, dun wan to work at all.. skipped all mui morning and lunch meals.. now dinner time le.. woke up at 5.30pm lidat.. realli slept thru-out.. realli din wan to wake up at all.. when woke up.. i will tink of him.. miss him.. its veri terrible fer mie.. when i muiself koe tat i shouldnt haf such feelings.. but i couldnt help it.. sometimes, realli wan to haf a cry.. mayb tis is the 2nd blow for mie again.. but, tis blow. i almost couldnt take it.. he's a good guy.. no matter wad euu tink, in mui mind.. euu are a good guy to mie.. euu may think tat euu are useless.. but dun feel in tat wae.. i felt tat euu are great.. realli, i may not good at words.. but den, i realli mean it.. i do not koe wad i can do to make euu feel better.. mayb when euu read mui blog, euu felt more stress and pressrized but, i hope euu wun feel it in tat wae..

there are lots of things to tell euu.. but i dunno where to start.. what's the appropriate timing.. ish the things i tell euu going to let euu feel pressurized..

jus in short, few things to mention to euu..
1. euu are not a bad guy, at least.. to mie, euu are a good one..
2. euu are not useless, to mie, u done all the best euu can..
3. please find baq ur life, dun make the people around euu to worry..[mayb euu may tink no one will worry abt euu, at least, there's one here alwaes.. i m the one]

those are wad i wants to tell euu.. i haf lots.. but... ... ...
*sigh*



missing euu**
thinking of euu***
<3 euuu******



#iwillbwaitingfereuuu,timeandfatewillproveeverythings#