din blog yesterdae..

fridae 28.4.2006
went school in the morning.. reached at 8am.. slacked all the wae.. in-charge did not turn up.. so we slacked all the wae.. so boring.. not enuff sleep too.. worst still.. den i little attitude wid mui frens.. sorrie abt it.. done mani things.. or shld i sae i haf to do alot things.. mayb gonna stress up veri soon.. hais..
nite time, went to zouk.. asked along him.. but due to some personal reasons.. he din not turn up.. den another guy wanted to turn up to mit us too.. er, little no fate bah.. hahah, no fate wid mui frens.. aniwae, mani things happened.. din wan to blog to much.. little lazy to blog too..

aniwae, yesterdae gone to zouk, sgh.. opps, sgh? =x long story.. =) now its fine le..
tink of him while alone in sgh.. er, dunno why.. mayb cant ferget him eh? chatted with my fren too.. i also dunno wad to type..

saturdae 29.4.2006
slept at 7+ in the morning.. woke up at 3.30pm lidat.. not tat tired animore.. i guess.. =x
wanted to go to grandma's place.. dun tink going le.. pretty lazy.. gt mani things to do too..



dun wish to blog le..








`missing euu
*thinking euuu

todae slept at 5plus in the morning.. after the soccer match.. i "bet" wid mui maple frens tat AC milan will win.. and the results, its a draw.. but we still won.. cause of the odds.. morning should haf gone fer mui doctor appointment.. but i did not.. woke up, but too tired to go fer it.. callled up to change the appointment.. to next wednesdae.. noon time.. in the nite, went dinner wid huimin and xuelin to crystal jade at jurong point.. talked alot.. crapped alot.. enjoyed the dinner.. a veri full dinner i should sae.. veri veri full.. all of us couldn't take it.. spent fer $42.20 fer the three of us.. cheap? i tink so.. we ordered quite alot.. met mingyu and weiyee over there.. din realli tok with them.. er but hi of cus.. and bye of cus.. hahah =) tmr going fer clubbing ler.. most probably going to zouk bah.. =) nearer.. seems tat will attract mie more.. LOL! so asked them along.. but both not coming.. er, its okie lahs.. they got their reasons.. =) continued our dinner.. chatted and chatted and chatted.. felt little relieved.. i mean, i din tink so mych le.. but dun wish to give up on those thhinkings..

been wondering if i should go ask him along fer clubbing... i wanting to ask him ler.. but then.. i dunno should i.. so called up shuchun, asked fer her advice.. she told mie.. go fer it.. i plucked up mui courage.. sms-ed him.. told him i am going clubbing tmr.. asked him if he wanna join us.. he replied.. he's not joining us fer some reasons.. actualli when i sms-ed him, i got a great feeling tat tat reply i had in my mind is his reply.. guess wad? woman are sensitive creatures.. their sixth sense are kindof accurate de.. well, the reply in my mind ended up became his reply.. =) not realli disappointed... kind of, at least i asked him rite? i mean, no regrets.. rather then i did not ask him about it.. =) little boring.. we did not further sms animore.. mayb im kindda quiet in front of him.. but in front of my frens, i m not.. mayb, its the feel that is in our mind bah..

left jurong point at 8.45pm... reached home at 9.30pm.. went little shopping at my nearby place.. therefore little late.. chatted wid mui frens.. mui cousin.. tmr ish secondary school de mid-year exams ler.. good luck to them.. i m starting school veri soon too.. gonna be veri busi when school reopen.. little bored.. i dunno why.. hopefulli everything will turn out to b fine tmr bah.. tmr gonna haf to go baq school.. kinda of broke le.. went to buy 3 ppc fer maple.. =x little crazy i guess.. hahah, not regretted at all =) gonna try out new things le.. i wan kip mui level to be high high.. =)


*thinking of euu
` missing of euu




hope things will get better when it turn out to be a new month in may bah***

wednesdae 26.4.2006
bloggin at tis hour.. pretty late le.. but i still hafen sleep.. but, later gonna wake up at 7plus or 8plus lidat.. er, earli.. but still hafen sleep.. din sleep well yesterdae.. slept at 6am.. woke up at 12plus noon.. veri tired.. feel like sleeping again... but din.. todae, actualli going for clubbing de.. but din.. changed the date.. to coming fridae.. its because mani frens can join us.. so changed the date.. did not tell him abt it.. dunno shld i tell him.. not saying anithing.. its becus.. he actualli koes i going todae.. den seems wanting to go.. but den he's in camp.. so cant.. so i was tinking shld i like inform him.. so mayb he could join.. but, i dunno.. little confused.. i scare of tis and tat.. if i did not sae i miss him or think of him, its impossible de.. its been awhile le.. since tuesdae until now.. tuesdae ish our last chat.. last contact i shld sae.. until now.. no calls / sms-es frem him.. mayb fer now, he realli dun nid mie le.. he got his memory card fer his fone.. on his duty, he can listen to songs le.. he wun b boring.. mayb tat's the reason why he did not find me? realli dunno..

sometime, i will wonder.. wad had he been? issit good? how's everything? but i did not ask him.. i dun wish to sense little rejection frem him.. i mean its like, he's not in good mood either.. i realli wonder wad can i do in order to cheer him up.. *sigh*

later going fer mui doctor appointment at 930am in da morning.. mayb shld meet up wid shuchun to take mrt together bah.. she's working ma.. i reached earlier to the hospital is also ok ma.. rather den late ma.. den in the nite, actualli going to haf dinner wid andy de.. his birthdae ma.. but he's booked b his gal.. tat's cool.. so we also dun wan to disturb him much.. let him be.. ended up, going to haf dinner wid xuelin and huimin later in the nite..

1st time kept muiself at home until nw since last fridae le..pretty long daes.. did nothing mych at home.. kip on playing mui game.. in order not to tink too much.. sometimes, i dun wish to blog.. wheneber i blog, i will tink of him.. everytime before sleep, i will alwaes haf thinkings before i sleep.. i mean, its like.. think of the swit memories, and the saddenings stuffs..

*sigh*




could i koe wad are euu thinking about??





*sigh*



`missing euu
*thinking euu

yesterdae, whole dae sat in front of mui computer.. been playing game thru-out.. i find muiself little lifeless too.. everydae lifes goes on like tis.. wake up, com, sleep.. din go out fer past 5daes le.. dun feel like.. so din go out.. slept at 9plus in tis morning.. woke up at 2plus lidat.. suddenly got a headache.. force muiself to bed again.. rest awhile until 3pm den wake up..

yesterdae he booked out le.. pretty earli of him to reach home at 3plus neh.. er, cause i saw him online.. din talk or chat.. onli later in the mid-nite.. when i was playing game, he msg mie.. asked, i m gaming issit..? at tat point of time, i had a strong feeling tat he actualli read mui blog alreadi.. but i din confirm with it.. so i jus went on by talking and chatting with him.. after awhile, he told mie tat he read mui blog le.. but we din sae anithing much.. i onli can sense tat he's veri veri sian.. he also played game until 5plus i guess.. din remember the time.. fer mie, i played until 6plus in the morning.. but i din went to bed straight.. watched tv.. talked wid shuchun on the fone, as usual.. she always din gib mie the enuff time to b mui listening ear.. hais..

online at 2plus in the noon jus nw.. alreadi see him online le.. veri earli todae.. he seems like no nid to sleep neh.. but everydae playing same game will not sian ma..? i dunno him.. sometime how i wish dere will b fun in us.. but i koe.. at tis point of time.. there will not.. todae veri earli in the morning, i received a message, i was thinking who's the sender.. but of cus, i hope he will b the one.. do i sound demanding..? afterall, i m jus hoping.. and the answer ish, its not him.. its jus a forward frem another fren.. i dunno how people read and feel when i typed all tis out.. do i sound demanding? do i sound pressurizing? i hope i do not.. realli.. mayb i do, but i hope euu will not get the wrong idea..

sometimes, i rather euu to share ur problems out.. even the person mayb not be mie.. but at least euu may feel better after euu share out ur problems wid people.. recently, i play mui game.. in the game, there's tis online fren.. when i chat wid him.. he will gib mie a feeling of euuu.. he reminds mie of euu sometimes.. i .. ..

*speechless*


missing euu**
thinking of euu ***
<3 euu****




你过得好吗?
一定要好好的照顾自己...
一定要...

a another new dae begins.. slept at 5plus in the morning.. woke up at around 2.15pm.. er, before dat.. woke up at 8plus to call mui fren to chat.. little werid rite? cus she ferever wun haf her time fer mie.. onli in the morning when she's going to work.. tat's the onli free time she can b mui listening ear.. again, playing game.. so "dragged" muiself to bed at around 5am..

usualli.. before i sleep.. i will tend to look baq all the message he sent to mie.. and yesterdae of course no exception.. but to my surprise, 1 message received appeared on the screen of the phone.. at that time of time, i was hoping the sender to be him.. because its pretty late le.. and when i open up the message.. yesh! its him.. haahaha =) i m so happie.. i jus dunno how to describe the feeling i had.. so sms-ed afew wid him.. i tink i m too tired le.. so i went to bed without replying his sms.. and his last sms also telling mie tat he wan to sleep saying he will sms mie other time.. but i alreadi in mui dreamland le.. so morning, saw the sms, replied to him.. asking him to sleep well..

den morning woke up at 8plus chatted on fone with shuchun until about 9am.. den she go fer a work le.. she's always been mui listening ear.. every little things which i had undergo all this while, she koes everything.. i mean, she mui besttie.. she koe hw i feel... kip telling mie why think of him etc.. should haf think of her.. blah blah blah..

well, sometimes.. things couldn't help it.. i been playing game all tis while.. wad's the main purpose?? actualli asking muiself not to tink too mych.. w/o game.. i will be thinking of him.. missing of him.. even now.. blogging.. i m thinking alreadi.. what do you guys think? get wad i mean le mar?when i ownself read mui blog.. i was like.. uh-huh.. i went thru mani things.. even mui cousin saes so.. er, she said tat the previous previous entry is so depressing.. i din wan to make my blog depressing.. but tat's how i feel? i felt depressing ma.. so .. lidat nor..

todae ish mondae le.. he's gonna b out le.. later i tink he will online bah..
hmm, hopefulli he will get to see all tis entry..

i still hafing the same saying,

dun tink tat u'r useless.. cus to mie u are not..
dun tink u're bad.. cus to mie u are not..
dun tink u're incapable.. cus to mie u are not..



对我而言， 你永远不是最差...




missing euu**
thinking of euu***
<3 euu*****

todae.. everything as usual.. actualli haf to go work de.. but i din.. dun feel like, asked fer a so called urgent leave.. but nothing urgent at all.. slept at 9am tis morning.. woke up at 3pm in the noon.. all the nite was playing maple.. training, and chatting wid mui online frens.. yesterdae, there's tis guy.. asked mie to join them fer mahjong session.. actualli i wanted to go, afterall i not in good mood mah.. but no fren gonna accompani.. so did not go le.. *dangeerous* den tok on the fone wid huimin about wad happened to mie n him.. after the chat, called shuchun.. started another chat.. little not use to it.. i missed his calls and sms.. everytime when sms and calls come, i alwaes hope it will be him.. but alwaes, its the different one.. after chatting with shuchun, i came baq to mui com.. played mui game again.. and started another chat with mui online fren.. he and i did not sleep the whole nite, both were playing the game thru-out.. toking to him, makes mie remind of him[ruyugi].. todae before i went to bed, i set mui fone to silent mode without viration.. den, woke up.. saw missed calls and sms-es..but to mui disappointment, none of them ish him..

i dun expect him to gib mie calls or sms-es.. i m jus hoping.. todae din go fer werk.. i feel little good.. becus i no nid to work.. i mean, i rather not in good mood le.. den dun haf the mood to werk, so i din.. woke up, came to the com.. switch on mui game.. and i start gaming.. gaming will dun realli make mie to miss him.. if i online doing nothing, i will b missing him like crazy.. i mean, i will definitely think of him.. like yesterdae nite, how i hope he will send mi sms or call.. but he did not.. and todae, i tink he's gonna haf his duty frem nite to next dae morning 4am.. will he sms or call me? will i receive calls frem him? no one knoes..



missing euuu***
thinking euu**
<3 euuu*****


are euu hafing good life? did u haf running nose again? lots of concerning questions in mui mind..
remember to take good care of urself..

slept at 6am in the morning.. after blogging yesterdae, went to slack on bed.. sent a goodnite sms to him.. den out of mui surprise, he replied.. so mie and him sms-ed awhile.. den about 2plus.. we chatted on the fone. all the wae until around 5.45am.. cause he's on duty.. and we talked alot.. mani mani mani things said.. he himself felt lifeless in his life.. fer mie, i felt the same wae too.. how i wish i can help mie.. but i dunno wad to help him.. we talked about the 2weeks cooling off period.. he told mie he's sorrie and he tinks he wans mie to gib up, telling mie sorry fer gibing mie false hope..he wans to be alone fer now.. however, i dun felt disappointed.. rather, i told him.. i will respect his decision.. after tat call, i felt tat mie and him will not like kip in contact..

so i sent him one sms which goes like tis..

Sorry to disturb you again.. Actualli abt the things we said, i realli dun wish of any misunderstandings turn our frenship off.. No matter wat issit, do wad u wan, but dun make the people ard u to worry fer u.. must take care of urself.. tis time hang up the call, no one knoes when we r contacting again, so haf to take care lots.. another thing, hope when you book out, pls go to http://qx-fatedlove.blogspot.com.. spare some time on it.. Tat's all i wan to say.. Thanks fer leaving the swit memories fer mie.. =) Take care.. Please dun feel stress and pressurized.. I dun wish anything happen to tis frenship.. Cant b together doesnt mean cant b frens.. But, one question fer you, those u said earlier on when we r together, r they frem ya heart?

these are wad i sms-ed him.. and his replied goes lidat tis.. "Yes, I m not lying"
with tis reply, i did not sms him alreadi.. i feel like sms-ing him or call him.. but i dunno should i do so.. at this point of time, i dunno wad i can tell him.. i felt little helpless.. i mean, even though its a fren to mie.. i will also help mah.. but nw, he's someone i alreadi put love on him.. yet, i couldnt do anything.. do euu koe wad, wid tat sms of his.. i realli wish to tell him how mych i m missing him everydae, how often i tinks of him.. but all of his "i wan to b alone now" it backed mie off.. i din do it..i din mean tat all ish is fault.. i mean, sometimes ppl wan to be alone, so we shld leave it.. if not, things may get worst.. rather, everything on mui blog.. asked him to read mui blog, because i find tat he shld? i mean, its like, everything in mui blog, mui feelings, mui thinkings.. everything ish here.. i dun wish to see him taking things into such a meaningless thing when there's someone here, worrying fer him, thinking of him etc..

he said "i think euu give up bah" somehow or wadever, i tink i shld in the 1st place.. mayb leave everything to fate.. but in mui 2nd thought, i felt tat.. mayb all he nid ish more time.. i dunno.. mayb people will sae i m foolish.. but, tat's how i feel like.. in conclusion: leaving it to fate plus gibing him more time.. wid more time, fate will also come by.. by the end of the time, we will koe wad ish our path.. mayb if one dae, he's wid another ger.. it shows tat he's not meant fer mie.. if he is, den he will not go off?

really dunno when we will b contacting.. i dunno.. i hope we will be nothing.. we wun haf to face such a "testing" .. or rather, be a veri veri veri good frens..

mayb had alittle mood swing le.. after his call, went to bed.. den woke up at 1plus, talked wid shuchun, around 2plus, hang up the call.. went to bed again.. din wan to wake up at all.. wanted to sleep all the wae.. tomorrow, working again.. had tis sudden urge, dun wan to work at all.. skipped all mui morning and lunch meals.. now dinner time le.. woke up at 5.30pm lidat.. realli slept thru-out.. realli din wan to wake up at all.. when woke up.. i will tink of him.. miss him.. its veri terrible fer mie.. when i muiself koe tat i shouldnt haf such feelings.. but i couldnt help it.. sometimes, realli wan to haf a cry.. mayb tis is the 2nd blow for mie again.. but, tis blow. i almost couldnt take it.. he's a good guy.. no matter wad euu tink, in mui mind.. euu are a good guy to mie.. euu may think tat euu are useless.. but dun feel in tat wae.. i felt tat euu are great.. realli, i may not good at words.. but den, i realli mean it.. i do not koe wad i can do to make euu feel better.. mayb when euu read mui blog, euu felt more stress and pressrized but, i hope euu wun feel it in tat wae..

there are lots of things to tell euu.. but i dunno where to start.. what's the appropriate timing.. ish the things i tell euu going to let euu feel pressurized..

jus in short, few things to mention to euu..
1. euu are not a bad guy, at least.. to mie, euu are a good one..
2. euu are not useless, to mie, u done all the best euu can..
3. please find baq ur life, dun make the people around euu to worry..[mayb euu may tink no one will worry abt euu, at least, there's one here alwaes.. i m the one]

those are wad i wants to tell euu.. i haf lots.. but... ... ...
*sigh*



missing euu**
thinking of euu***
<3 euuu******



#iwillbwaitingfereuuu,timeandfatewillproveeverythings#

a new dae begins.. its the 8th dae of the 2 weeks le.. i hafen gone to bed yet.. recently been playing maple story.. been sleeping quite late le.. but now, i wish to go to bed.. at the same time i m hoping dat he will sms or call mie.. with tis thinking, i refused to go to bed.. am i silly? i dunno why.. perhaps, i missing him now.. i realli wish to talk on the fone wid him.. its alreadi 1plus in the morning.. outside raining heavily.. eyes tired alreadi.. but i dun haf the urge to go to bed.. i wish he will sms or call mie.. do euu koe? i wish dat u will give mie a call, sms i also happie.. but, i koe.. its impossible.. its not ur character to pull someone out of bed in the middle of the nite.. even euu wish to, euu wun wan to.. m i rite to sae so?

mui fren asking mie, still dun wan to sleep? i replied.. i dunno wad time to sleep.. i wish to sleep now actualli.. bt at the same time, i hoping tat he will find mie.. on the 21st we sms-ed.. but will on the 22nd? 23rd? in contact? i dunno.. i wish we will.. 23rd i will be working.. i dun tink euu will sms mie.. 22nd, which ish todae le.. dunno euu will find mie anot.. actualli i wanted to visit mui grandma de.. i tink, i will drop tis idea.. cause i will rather to stay at home actualli... i dun haf urge to go over le.. wish to talk to someone rite now.. but den, there's no one.. therefore, here i m bloggin.. i mean, about mui feelings.. not all people koe it.. i also dun wish to sae further..

right now, there are 3 things i will sae..


1. missing euu***
2. thinking of euu***
3. <3 euuu``````***



我都在等你， 你知道吗?
很想你...

todae ish the 7th dae of the 2weeks le.. er, one week le.. times flies.. realli.. the 2weeks seems gonna end soon.. i wish to end asap.. however, i also fear of it when it's ending.. i mean, i may not knoe how to react? or should i sae, i dun wish to hear or react things tat is not the ending tat i wans? currently, i dunno wad's his feeling fer mie.. as fren? or still little of like me? i wish to koe.. bt, his character.. he kept things in himself.. unless a gf is beside him.. gf will able to understand him.. before i continue, let me blog abt other stuffs.. slept at around 6am in the morning.. was playing game again.. so before i sleep.. decided to sms him a good nite message..

here it goes..

等待你的短信， 是甜蜜的守候。 哪怕只是短短的问候，我也会甜在心里。虽然现在不能见面，但不代表我不想你。好好照顾自己哦... 记得有空想想我！晚安！

but, his n-gage couldnt see wad is the message i sent.. so he replied.. wad did i sent to him.. he cant see anything.. and tat's where we started sms again.. but again, we stopped.. i dunno the reason.. so in order to let him c the message, i translated it into english version..

Translated by mie in english version:

Waiting 4ur little sms is worthwhile.. Though sms is short, but it added switness in my hart.. we din meet up with each other, doesnt mean i dun miss euu.. remember to miss me wor.. good nite..

after hours, he replied.. telling mie thanks, and said tat i composed it.. er, i dun realli understand wad he mean.. so i replied him, wad makes u tink i composed it.. but until nw, there's no reply frem him.. may he's asleep bah.. jus nw he hafing his duty mah.. maybe in the nite there's one fer him.. er, realli missing him.. i wish to talk to him on the fone.. talking wid him on the fone realli makes mui dae brighter.. serious..

woke up at 10plus nor.. do all the stuffs i haf too.. went to bed again at 12.15pm.. realli veri tired.. woke up @ 1.45pm.. done preparations.. den went fer 2 of mui appointments todae.. den on the wae baq.. i do not koe why.. reminds me of him.. wad he had said to mie.. of course, its sweet memories of him to mie.. but again, dun realli wish to stop the swit memories.. i wish to continue the swit memories wid him.. oh mui goodness.. can i?


missing euuu*****
thinking of euu***
<3 euuu *******

*praying hard*

P.S: i knoe wad class i m in now.. i m in IT2N.. haisz

todae morning slept at around 5plus.. pretty tired.. woke up at 11plus.. den go baq sleep again.. exactly woke up at 2plus nearly to 3pm.. hahahas.. den before i sleep.. i saw his msn online.. er, pretty late le.. but he gaming freak.. =x lols.. still online. tink either he sleep le.. or he playing game bahs.. so din care anithing.. cus play game until wanted to sleep le.. so tiring.. haha..

woke up, he's online alreadi.. i tink he did not off his com or wad bah.. i also dunno.. er, den chatted wid him on and off i should sae.. becus, he wans to play game.. den he chatted wid him on and off nor.. now he's on his wae baq to his camp le.. tat's fast neh.. =) shall see if he will sms or call mie bahs.. i will not make the 1st move.. hafen 2weeks finished.. also dunno when is the correct timing.. hopefulli he will find mie again bahs..

todae ish the 6th dae le.. still gt 8 more daes to go.. wondering wad will happen at the end of the 2 weeks.. will he still talk about the problem again? tinking of the swit memories again.. missing him rite now.. ohh.. realli missing him.. he's jus awae not fer 10minutes.. hais..

results ish out tmr le.. mui semster result is out tmr le.. but frens tell mie tat can check le.. so i checked mui results at 7plus jus now le.. alittle nervous.. den told muiself tat i wun get good grades le.. saw the result.. little stunning.. i tot i looked at the wrong one.. so i checked again the term.. and the subjects.. yesh, i got gpa 4.. veri happie about it.. wanted to share mui happiness with him de.. er, dunno how to start.. so i din le.. ended up, still kip inside mui heart.... =) also, good luck to all ITE students ler =)

hopefulli me and him will still be orites..


missing euu
thinking of euu
<3 euuu


*praying hard*

erm, wanting to post it on wednesdae de..

wednesdae 19.04.2006
todae ish 5th dae of the 2 weeks le.. slept at around 4am in the morning.. woke up at around 6.40am in da morning.. ani idea why? hahahas, he sms-ed mie.. er.. actualli he replied mui sms.. den i heard it.. so woke up and replied him.. den ended up he missed call mie.. chatted on the fone wid each other fer i tink around 20mins lidat.. den he wan to go back sleep.. den i insist no.. hahahs, so ended up also let him go sleep ahh.. i koe its tiring fer him de.. so i remained awake.. actualli wanted to go sleep de.. but after tat it was abt time fer me to wake up to prepare muiself.. erm, went to andy's house fer mahjong sessions earli in the morning.. kinda tired cus onli slept fer about 1hr plus nia.. den awake until now nehs.. hahahs, later gonna watch soccer too^.^ gonna b a v v shag dae fer mie nehs..

reached his place.. erm, kinda surprise.. hahah, cus i din koe tat his house looks so nice? lol~ i mean, clean lar.. veri white.. LOL! den played our mahjong widout ani food i guess? lol. the most onli toilet breaks.. other den tat, no more le.. er, all ish playing playing playing.. and guess wad? i m the big winner of the dae..hahah, kinda surprise.. cus alreadi veri tired le.. yet still can win.. er, luck is all wad i shld sae.. =) den now mapl-ing until halfwae.. gonna go baq 'train' le..

sorry fer dragging yew ehs? =) hope euu dun mind~
hope euu will rest well at home.. afterall, euu booked out le!! *wiink*



miss euu
thinking of euu*



*praying hard*

better faster blog before it strikes twelve.. that's the purpose..

gonna share one happy news.. er.. he sms-ed mi!!! we talked on the fone jus now!!!.. actualli ish on-going on the fone de.. but i tink his camp got things.. he gt to rush and said will call mie later.. pretty happie about it.. talked alot.. we did talked about if let's sae he did not wan a cooling off period nor.. aniwae.. that's if.. den kip sae i lying to him.. but i realli din ok.. =) but seriously.. when i received a msg.. i was thinking.. who's the one.. when i open.. wow~ its him leh.. veri happie.. wanted to jump on the spot.. of cus i did not lar.. i outside mar.. lol.. he er, like apologise fer not sms-ing mie fer so long nehs.. er, its like.. since saturdae until now.. 3daes lidat din sms or find each other le.. but actualli i dun blame him fer tat de.. i mean, why blame.. he no nid to apologise to mie too mar.. den we started to sms le.. tmr he's out le.. hahah.. little happie actualli.. =) er.. den around 7.45pm we started toking on the fone le.. until around 9pm.. he got things lidat.. said will call mie baq.. but he din actualli.. erms, i tink he sleep le bah.. he's going to wake up at 3am wor.. fer his duty at 4am.. erm, he 3am wake up to prepare mah.. hahah.. =) so i actualli dun blame him fer tat.. in fact, i shouldn't ok.. LOL! erm, was thinking shld i wait until 3am.. or shld i go to sleep.. hahha, wondering if he will find me.. i mean, call mie or sms mie lidat.. hahah, he owes mie a call mah.. =x

when i heard his voice, i realli veri veri happie.. finalli i can tok on the fone wid him le.. hahahs..
i too happie liao..

tmr i going to haf mahjong session in the morning ahh until nite nehs.... 9am hahah, so earli rite? GAMBLERS MAH! lol.. =x

missing euu
thinking of euu
<3 euu


=P

todae ish the 4th dae of the 2weeks le.. yesterdae extremely tired.. but still hoping fer him to call or sms mie.. doze off while watching telvision.. sleep like din sleep.. but i realli i dreamt of things.. dun wan to share the dream to anione.. cus i hoping the dream to come true.. sounds little silly rite..? but dreamt abt mie and him mar.. tat's why.. =)

actualli been waiting fer his calls and sms-es since the 2weeks started.. todae i got a sudden urge to call or even sms him.. but i do not koe if i shld do so, so i did not.. consult jacq.. she told mie not to.. so i let off.. i pulled baq.. i did not call or sms him.. but waiting fer him.. been wondering how haf he been in his camp now.. been wondering if he's doing well.. did he smoke? did he drink? realli miss him.. sometimes, missing him makes mie cry. especialli when i wish to listen to his voice, knowing his doings.. realli do feel like crying now..

hais`

if onli euu knoes how i feel****

sometimes, i fear tat after 2 wks.. mie n him ish goner.. but sometimes, i had a strong feeling telling mie tat mie and him wun b a goner.. which ish true? sometimes i haf the confident.. sometimes, all the confident lose.. sometimes i wish i haf all the confident.. sometimes, i wish i dun haf the confident.. its so contridating..

he wans to b alone.. tat's the last sentence i heard frem him.. being alone fer 2weeks.. issit good? i realli fear.. dun wish to lose him.. serious..



iwilbwaiting4euu****



missing euu
thinking of euuu
loving euu

jus reached home half hour ago.. er.. went out in the morning frem morning until now.. now hafing dinner too~ went walked around jurong east and jurong point.. bought wallet fer muiself.. den angel wan to go see spec.. den makes mie remind of him.. er, did tink of him.. cannot sae did not.. cause i realli did... den received calls and sms-es.. i alwaes hope tat one of tat is him.. but, alwaes.. it fails to do so.. it alwaes be other people.. no chance to b himself.. hai~

realli hope to b him.. he realli wan to cut off so thoroughly arh..?

*praying hard*


miss euu
thinking of euu

i m baq again.. slept at 4am in da morning.. woke up at 9am.. erm, little earli.. wanted to go baq sleep de.. but den din.. woke up by a call.. saw it was unknown number.. i tot it was him.. imean ruyugi.. i hoping was him.. when the voice came out, i tot was him.. den i asked who was tis.. i was mui lecturer, mr lum.. asked mie stuffs like wad i haf done all this while in ite.. den he's writing a report on mie.. er, report fer wad i dunno nor.. aniwae, back to mui feelings bah..

3rd dae of the 2weeks le.. wasn't tat hurting n unbearable le.. i mean, even its so unbearable.. i still haf to pass mui daes.. er.. still the same.. cant help bt tink back to him.. tink back.. waiting fer his call.. wanted to listen to his voice.. i koe i cant.. cus i shld realli gib him the 2 wks to tink thru.. at the same time, still hope his mine.. =x but i realli scare.. i scare the high i pinned hope on, the more i will devasted later.. i wish alot of things wid him.. its wid him.. not frem him.. i wish to b wid him, everything to b wid him? sometimes, its like.. a dream.. i m dreaming, and i got to wake up.. still i dun wish to wake up again.. i dunno if he will read mui blog anot.. bt, i can sae tat.. most probably is nope.. however, i wish he will koe how i feel..

i wish to tok to him on the fone.. chat wid him.. i mean, as a fren i also happie rather den strangers lidaT? though jacq told mie tat if he calls there's 2 possibilty.. i mean 1st is he's bored.. 2nd, he misses mie too mych.. its fine wid mie wid tis 2 possibilty.. at least he still will tok to mie ma..chatted wid jacq.. since a long time i realli chatted wid her le.. er, next time dun slp late le.. not good fer ya babi~ remember to buy milk powder fer urself.. next time cant slp can drink.. later going to kbox wid angeline.. actualli meeting her at 11am at jurong east.. but she woke up at 10.30am.. so i m here blogging bah.. hmm, actualli din wan to go de.. bt tink to let mie off? i mean, let mui hair down.. relac awhile.. hopefulli.. he still will call mie bah..


miss euu
thinking of euu

2nd dae of the 2weeks.. todae, i felt much better le.. i haf thought thru le.. if its going to b mine, it will be mine.. if its not going to be mine, it wun be mine at all.. m i rite to sae tat? but all these doesnt mean tat gracefully ferget everything.. nope.. all the swit memories still all inside mui mind.. i wan to kip these swit memories.. i dun wan to lose it.. =)

another thing.. i wondering, he now ish avoiding mie issit? i dunno why.. hopefulli he did not block mie in his msn.. initalli i tot he blocked mie yesterdae, den after todae morning i online, i saw him.. i was little relieved then.. morning, i din felt as much better as now.. but now, i dare to sae.. i do feel better le.. at werk mah.. things happened too.. er.. tat lionel little fed up wid roy~ erm, i shld sae, wid the management team bah.. tat's more like it..aniwae, he doesn't seems good at all nor.. hahaha, he's fierce.. but he's kind i guess? din realli chat up wid him.. but i realli wan to if i haf the chance.. seems like chatting wid him ish fun nehs? LOL!

all i can do is wait fer these 2 wks.. i will wait fer the end of the month.. *pray hard* i hope to b wid him again~ if he's not going to find mie, den i tink mie and him will haf to stop contacting awhile in order to let the matter down.. den b frens back bah.. but seriously.. i realli wish to b wid him.. i also want tat idotic fellow to stop harassing mie.. todae, went home alone.. feeling peaceful.. i hope tis to carry on.. aniwae.. i will kip my post update de.. i wan to blog of wad r the happenings these 2 weeks..


*praying hard*






miss euuu
&
<3 euuu

orites.. realli din haf a single food yesterdae.. woke up wid empty stomach, slept wid empty stomach.. aniwae, realli a hard dae fer mie yesterdae.. todae woke up, din realli wan to go to work at all.. the whole body veri tired.. but tat's not a good reason fer not attending werk.. so dragged muiself out of the bed.. 1st reaction, came to the com.. ehs. he's online! the one i missing all tis while, he's online.. he's offline earli yesterdae.. todae online pretty earli.. hmm, still the same we did not tok.. hafing a barrier i guess..

aniwae, reached werkplace pretty earli.. finalli koe wad's the name of that 18year old guy outside mui shop working le.. he is none other than lionel.. hopefulli i did spelt correctly.. aniwae, he's a cute guy.. =) quite nice lar.. hmm, he helped mie to catch the cat do euu koe? hahah, i scared of cat.. yesterdae the cat came into mui shop twice.. he helped mie to catch the cat out.. =) cool rite? lol. asked him to catch cat again todae if there is.. but todae cat did nt come.. so no fear.. a new-comer came.. he's not realli good bah.. i din realli tok to him.. aniwae, both of them do smoke.. guess wad, once they lighted a cigarette.. i cant help it but actualli think back of wad ruyugi told mie.. he said before, he will not smoke n drink fer the sake of mie.. he knoe i dun like it.. blah blah blah.. all the swit memories again flow back into mui mind.. tis is not onli happens once in this dae.. it happened more than once.. hai~ pretty hard fer mie not to tink of him.. realli.. even when on the msn, i sees him.. wanted to tok to him.. i koe i couldn't.. i dunno why.. couldn't we be good frens like euu said? euu seems to build a wall inbetween us.. hai~

been wondering how haf he been.. came back home pretty earli.. used mui colleague's saying.. so was home earli.. den, took cab home as usual to avoid things to happen.. reached home, sat infront of the com.. he's out.. not on msn.. sometimes, i realli wonder, wad nick should i put it on msn so tat he wun feel irrated or pressrized.. bt i still wish him to koe wad i m feeling like.. wondering will he tink of mie.. i mean, when he's back in camp.. if he wan someone to tok to.. i realli hope he will find mie.. i even planned to b at home on wednesdae n thursdae, cus he's out of his camp.. i dunno if i m doin rite.. but i dunno wad i can do... realli wish to tok to him.. even as a fren.. i also will b glad de..

todae, its the onli 1st dae of the 2 weeks.. wad a long dae i had~

miss euu
<3 euu

cooling off period fer 2 wks

decided to change the website.. realli veri fed up wid dat... aniwae, i haf changed it.. hopefulli the same thing wun happen.. i dun wan to haf anithing relate animore.. curious who issit rite? haha, ok.. lettmie tell euu the person, he is none other than anione else.. he's mui ex!! EX do euu koe wad is mui EX? his name is Isaac Liew Lai Heng.. Its enuff le.. i am not going to tolerate him animore..

all becus of him spoilting mui stuffs again and again..

do euu guys koe wad?alreadi broke off fer 3months plus de relationship.. over ish over.. its so rare tat i will find another guy.. yesh i found him.. we started off on the the mid-nite of 13th April.. things were realli veri sweet.. veri.. i realli will sae veri.. frens around mie realli sees hw happie and fortunate i m.. he's the one.. the one i realli looking fer.. he's the type fer mie.. and he told mie, i m the type fer him too.. we were veri sweet.. we actualli lost contact fer year plus.. den got baq together in contact onli on the dae 13th..it was when i m out wid jalilah... he sms-ed mie suddenly.. den chatted from 7plus nite til all the wae next morning 5plus.. in between we joked alot.. den he asked mie to b his gerl alot of times too.. its all because i couldn't get wad he said.. den he got to repeat it.. aniwae, i find it realli funnie.. haf fun wid him toking on the fone.. so jus lidat, mie and him got together.. initalli i wanted to try out.. i mean it was like.. i had fun toking wid him.. although some ppl are in mui waiting list.. bt i find it nice chatting wid him.. so he asked mie, how do i feel abt him.. i said, ok nor.. [in the beginning, i did nt had realli feeling bah..] den later in the nite of the 13th april.. he asked again.. he asked if i love him or like him.. i told him, i love him.. he told mie, he loves mie too.. he also misses mie too.. so do i.. yea, i koe little mushy over here.. but den i m realli in love wid him.. i rarely was treated like a little princess.. or should i sae, i dun haf before.. he's a great guy.. seriously..

but things changes le.. 14th april mid-nite dat idotic fellow calls and sms-es mie.. den i shared it wid mui dear[ruyugi] den he console mie of cus.. then chatted wid mie.. the next morning, dat idotic fellow came again.. he shared it wid dear again.. but tis time round.. his reply is different from wad i expect? he said, let's b frens 1st.. blah blah blah.. at that moment of time, i m stunned.. its like, how come? he regretted le? but everything ish no.. he saes wadever he said on the fone over the dae are all the truth, no lies at all.. he realli lurves mie.. but yet, scare to hurt mie...he scared tat he will tink of his ex den hurt me..eventualli he wans a 2wks to calm himself down and as well to let tat fellow to cool off.. something lidat de.. and tat's the end.. little fast of the relationship rite? but i cldn't let off.. i tink and tink and tink.. all the wae frem morning and now.. i din eat anything.. nt feeling hungry at all.. jus tinking of the swit memories he gave me.. den i guess he's little pressurized le.. so something like, we became 2 strangers le.. become formal.. i dunno why.. he told mie, he wans to b alone fer the time being.. i dare to sae.. 2 wks is alittle long fer mie.. hopefulli everything will b orites bah.. 2wks later, will he come baq to mie? or he will choose his ex? or he will rather remains single..?

2wks frem now .. started counting.. mui fren tell me tat i will be veri terrible in this 2 wks.. seriously.. yesh.. i believe dat too.. because i alreadi put in mui feelings on him le.. realli wish tat he will come baq to mie soon.. or b gd frens rather den strangers.. even when i tinking of wad website name to use fer tis blog.. i asked him fer ideas.. he even got the wrong idea.. why all tis happens? i realli dun wan u to find mie a nuisance..

i had sweet memories frem euu[ruyugi], please do not make tis memories to become mui nightmares..

wun euu miss me? tink of mie?

i will miss euu, <3 euu..

please do not disappoint me.. if euu are going to, please let mie koe..