A good friend

Suddenly I wish to blog about this good friend I consider of.

Though we never meet before, we are kinda able to share everything under the sun in the world.

When he got problems, we will text each other. Now that I'm the one having problem, he gives me alot of suggestions what to do next.

I will say, only a guy can understand a guy's thinking.

We kinda on mutual understanding with each other. We only talk to each other on the phone once, even we known each other for more than 2 years. I don't feel awkward with him sharing things and listening to him. I do feel that, at this moment of time, I am glad to have him as my friend.

On the side note, to be honest, I maybe have forgotten how a boy-girl relationship works but at this point of time, we should still on honeymoon period instead. We are not even half a year or a year already. Many of the times, I will ask me myself, who are we? Are we boy-girl friend? Or we are just more than friends?

The interest you had for me from the day I know you until now:

1. You will be interested with my dance video, now not.

2. You will be more concern on how do I feel, what kind of pain I'm having, now not.

3. Due to lack of communication and we quarrelled, we said we will at least talk on phone 5mins before bed, now not.

4. We do not spend quality time at all, rather is just a companion to go out with. I feel this job any friend can do.

5. You will be spontaneous to accompany me for any dance events, now not.

All in all, maybe no love, no communication there's nothing left.

Not to say I'm perfect, I know I am not. I will say the things I don't like that you've done to me, I will share everything with you openly to gain your trust for me. But so what I am doing all these? There's no purpose if I am giving in 200% but you're giving in only 50% or lesser.

I feel as if I am just a gf with the title but behind it, I know nothing at all. I believe you do have the feeling. Because no proper communication at all, no understanding.

We are not the level of "we are having mutual understanding".

Just because we are not.

It's all about rantings

I've realised, the past few posts, is all about ranting. This is not going to make anything exceptional either. It's still my ranting post.

I know, it's absolutely fine to go out with friends and enjoy. The only thing that couldn't get into my head is.. "If usual meetings with bf, cannot meet until late nights is because of the mother, then why can a long awaited meeting with friends can be until late nights without worrying for mother"?

To me, this isn't making senses. I'm not calculative about it. I just can't see why we cannot have quality time and whenever we go out, you will never have a peace of mind with me. Either worrying for mother or not in the mood. I am tired of such dates already. If these are the dates, I would rather to stay home and do not have to entertain anyone, living in my own world.

Can anyone explain the rational behind the matter? Is this sarangehae in the first place or sarangehae isn't strong at all?

😔😔😔