Updates!

This week, everyday OT! Tiring too the max.

Yesterday, had a dinner gathering with my usual clique. Meeting time suppose to be at 7pm. But I only managed to reach at nearly 8.30pm! OT until 7.30pm, boss aka colleague drives me to Vivocity, but im lost at Vivocity -.- totally lame.. But it's a gathering ah, feel tired and relax at the same time.

In fact, the moment, I reached the place, I starts to yawn. Feels super tired :(

&i slept my day through out. All the way until 3.30pm, and again, I'm going to sleep soon! And I'm busy until I lost counts the dates.

Again, it's 4th again. Time really flies, oneyearonemonth already! Probably, it's high time to let go? I don't know still..

Prolly, I really love my tiring life. It's really tiring, at the same time, at the minimum, my mind don't go wild thinking. :)

Goodnight.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Jurong East Street 21,Singapore,Singapore

2 weekdays w/o blogging.

If you have notice, I will blog every weekdays morning. That's the reason because I'm on my way to work alone.

But if I did not blog for any weekdays, that means I'm still on my way to work but it's with my colleague :)

That applies why there's missing entries in the weekdays. &usually weekends, I'm either resting or busy working for another job. Now, I'm still feeling tired.

But! Friday is awesome. Though I skipped my company's dinner (not D&D), I get to reach home at about 4.30am after accompany William for waiting bus at my place. Still, all thanks to Don for driving us back though you guys were in hurry. Thanks and million of thanks. I felt paiseh at the same time. Should have asked Don not to drive us back when we know he's in a hurry.. I hope everything is ok.

That day, end work early, of course! :)

Working overnight after another job ain't easy. It's tiring.

Now, I'm heading to job again.
Have a nice day ahead yeah! :D

Oh yeah!!! Weijian releasing his second album on 17 December 2010! I'm listening to his new release preview while blogging! Hehehe!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Malacca St,,Singapore

8.30am onwards..

Last night, supposed to clean up and arrange the office, so that the moment we start the day, we can start work, but after we had dinner treat from boss, then we're told that, there's nothing we can do about it. That's because, the previous co.'s things etc are still there. And we can't do anything about it.

In the end, after the dinner, (by the way, it's pizza hut.) we went home. But by the time we left the office, it's already 8.30pm. Ugh, it's late right? But I guess it's just the work life yeah. :)

&as of today onwards, my working hours from 9am changed to 8.30am officially. That means I got to wake up half hour earlier. And on Fridays, I'll be going to work 24-hours. &its freaking exhausting, wanted to push it away, but, I guess forget about it. Hopefully, it will be fun, then I'll not so exhausted. Otherwise, I'll be totally knocked out in the weekends.



Fridays will be a coffee/caffeine day. Caffeine/coffee will be just like mineral water. Otherwise, I seriously wonder how can I survive.. Unless, I'm able to sleep as early as 8/9pm.

Alright! Hopefully, the workload for later, will be light enough. These days, I enjoyed running around to users for troubleshooting.

P.S: I heard from my colleague that, one of her friend, just broke up from an 8 years of relationship. Upon hearing, I felt that, even an 8 years of relationship that I thought it will be 'no-problem' relationship. But it don't seems the case.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Pan Island Expy,Singapore,Singapore

Conservative 2 days of him

Yesterday is the earliest timing that I knocked off from work and reached home kinda early out of the few days I've been working.

Today is gonna be the last day of working at 9am. Tomorrow onwards, 8.30am already. Hahahah! Gotta wake up early for work.

And it's conservative 2 days that I dreamt of him. First was a not very clear dream. Next is a very very clear dream. This dream is so clear that, when I woke up, it's like I'm in a reality.

Anyway, probably it's a good dream?



On this aside, thou my job is about HelpDesk Admin, I'm glad that I still get the chance to meet users and go around with engineers for few days before I really stuck in the office. Hahahah! But I think it's all fun and cool in this site office.

Have a nice day ahead!
I realized it's a very random post.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Pan Island Expy,Singapore,Singapore

Working 24-hours non-stop

Working on Friday, 24-hours non stop is really very tired. I'm exhausted all the way until now.

Yes, now. I slept early last night, today I woke up, still feeling very tired!! :( But to be truth, I'm still looking forward to work despite on waking up early.

Maybe looking forward to work for new things. Hahaha! I hope later at work, it's not going to be bored and nothing to do for me again. I'll get real bored. Hahahah!

&realized that, I've been blogging almost everyday when I'm in the bus for work. This is really a good time.

&this morning, I'm really very random. He appears into my mind, somehow I did see him in my dreams, just that I can't recall what is it. But whatever it is, I smiled.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Pan Island Expy,Singapore,Singapore

24-hours of work.

Today, I'm going to work from 9am to 6pm then continue to work from 8pm to 8am.

I'm awake since 6.45am. This is my first time working for the whole day non-stop after 3 years of rest? I've ever work in this way before in the past. It's totally exhausting. I really don't know if I'm able to stay awake anot.

Right now, I'm already still feeling tired, feel like sleeping already. I hope when I reach the office, I will be more energetic.

I'm prepared to have coffee at most of the time instead of mineral water.

&in this whole week, I have been attending meetings almost everyday. I'm not told if there's meeting today. However, my working shift is 9am to 6pm. Meetings have been ending as late as 7.30pm.



It's all because that we're following the Europe's timing. We're having meetings with the Europe, India, Malaysia. I'll say that all these experiences all new to me and it's good to have such experience. I wanted to upload a picture, but since it's having problem, I shall upload the next time.

Have a good day ahead!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Pan Island Expy,Singapore,Singapore

Some updates

I've started working Full-Time as helpdesk admin. At the same time, I have another 2 Part-Time jobs. &there's another job on hand waiting for my reply.

My friends heard that I've taking up so many jobs. Their first question to me was, "Are you in need of money?" My reply to them is, "I'm just working since it fits my schedule."

I really did not think so much regarding to taking up so many jobs. When the jobs come, I just take it as long as the working hours fits in the schedule..

&for the first time, I'm spending alot alot money on anything more than usual. My bank is kinda drying up. -.-! I'm waiting for my pay to get in and fill up the big hole. Sigh!

Oh yeah. I won't deny that now I'm busy taking up on jobs. The mind won't wild run. Not only that, last Sunday I went to Jurong Point, he went too, but I did not see him at all. Guess, this is fate....

On a happier note, I've gotten myself a pair of heels from Gmarket. It had arrived yesterday. My first time getting shoes online. But the experience ain't bad. To end off this post, I'm posting the pair of heels I've gotten for myself




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Pan Island Expy,Singapore,Singapore

Random Post

I have been thinking, is it time to let go?

Anyway, I have good news.
I went for interview with HP and Singtel. I've gotten both job offers. I'm going to accept Singtel's :) I'm looking forward to it. I hope I really gotten it and not a false hope.

Mobile Blogging from here.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

It's fourth again.

Whole month of October, I realized I did not blog at all. &its a brand new month. &its fourth again. A new fourth means, it's been a year.

It's been exact one year.. &recently, I did received an email from him.. Though, it's clearly know that it's a invitation for some website, but I still feel a little happy

Anyway, this is just a random post


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

F1 Racing Memories.

I ...

I spent my last whole night in SP. Yes, why am I doing in school at these hours? I reached school at about 6pm and started off with my trip's itinerary. It's all the way until this afternoon, 2pm then I left the school. Did rested for about 2hours plus in the middle. We took turns to rest. But the moment I reached home, had my brunch, I'm knocked out already. Tired to the max!

All the way until 7pm, my mom wakes me up to help her to get her dinner, until now. I thought I will be tired and going to sleep soon after dinner, but I did not eh?

I watched dramas and cried,(memories just flows in) and in the living room, my brother watching the F1 LIVE racing. It reminds me of the last year, during this moment.

We rented the car shared with Andy's + his gf. It's a weekend car, Friday was a day out with our friends, Saturday we use it and Sunday Andy uses it. I remembered very clearly, it's on the Sunday. We went to Marine Barrage for 'picnic' and chilling. In the evening, we met up Andy + gf and they drove us back home. Yes, it's during the F1 season. Memories, these are memories. I still remembers them clearly.

&on the 21st September, rented car and went to play :) It's really a enjoyable trip to me. At the same time, memories flowing in too. We went to KTV. I did not choose any songs, all songs are selected by my friends. But the songs played are almost all the songs that we sang. Yes, I'm serious. It's almost all. At moments, I sat by myself listen and memories flowing in. But I still enjoy the driving moment and the time together with my friends thou we're really very tired at the end of the whole day.

Im serious, at this point of time, I really wish to contact him again as friends or whatever. Prolly a drive date?

Time really flies? It's going to be 11th months since then.

BIRTHDAY 2010

This is a very very late blog post. But I'm still going to post it out. :)

29th August, it's my birthday.

24th August, I met up with ShuChun for dinner. She surprised me with cupcakes as my birthday is nearing. &dinner was on her too! Birthday treat! Thank you my bestie!



28th August happened to be my Poly class gathering. I went out with them in the noon, had the lunch together, and went to Pool Fusion. Pretty just a class gathering, though not all of them were here. &thanks Saen for the lunch treat as my birthday treat yea~ :)

After that, I went off early as I had another celebration with my ITE clique+Ricky. :) I was not being told what are we having and what are we going to do. But, yes. I still know it's my birthday celebration from them!

First of all, we went to 木船 at Vivocity for dinner. The atmosphere is really good. (THUMBS UP!)



Next, we went to TCC at International Building for card games and cake cutting and not forgetting receiving presents!



We're just having fun and more fun. Until the present part, I'm seriously I'm totally surprised by it. Prolly, I don't look surprised at the moment. There's a total of 6 parts of presents in the bag.

I was told that inside the bag, there's 6 items. &it's a lucky draw. I'm supposed to pick a number and that's will be my present.

Then, I picked an number, and it turn out to be a wallet. &I believed that's the one and only present that I'm going to receive. There goes my Polaroid :(

Not the end yet, until Weilin gave out a little hints, then I realised that I still have presents to take! :D (I'm totally being fooled by it.) Then they continued with our card games. About after an hour, they bring out the bag again, then I realised that the rest are still meant for me!

There are, batteries for the Polaroid, Instax films for the Polaroid, Wallet, Card holder, Polaroid and $30 cash.

I'm very surprised that I'm getting these much. I'm expecting that I'm getting Polaroid only, not the rest of the wallet, card holder and cash. I'm really thankful with all the plans. :)

The day's expenses are all being covered already. The dinner, the TCC - I did not pay a single cent.

After that, all of us went home by night rider. &the moment I reached home, bathed, I totally have the feeling that, I don't wish the birthday is ending like so soon. Don't even want to go to bed and waste the time sleeping. But still, I slept :)

In the evening, went out to meet Yongxiang, Weesiang, Christina and her mom for dinner. I thought it was just a casual dinner + a gift and that's all. But in the end, I'm caught by surprised that they bought a HUGE cake for me. &dinner was treated by them :) Thank you so much!




The next day, 30th August, I met up with my cousin, and went shopping + dinner. Dinner was her treat as a birthday gift for me. We went Marche :D

With everything and everything, I'm very grateful + thankful for all the birthday wishes, facebook wishes, msn wishes, twitter wishes and all the celebrations + birthday treats.

It's a year without him at all. Though, to be frank, I'm still thinking about him, that for him to wish me happy birthday or just a text. It did not happened.

I thought that, the only celebration that I'll have is the ITE clique+Ricky's. This group of us will not failed to celebrate one another's birthday. Usually we'll celebrate on a day earlier or something.

In the past, my actual day left for him but this year's different already.

&in this year, I truly understand the feeling of friends celebrating the birthday for me &also realised that I really can't imagine what would happened in my day when no one is there for me.

How would I feel?
Perhaps, I'm being used to have someone around me on my day. :(

But then, these have not happened yet! :)
I'm really thankful + grateful for making all these happen! :)

The next year, 24th!
I'm thinking to have a hotel room booked or something to celebrate my 24th! :) Getting all the close friends together and celebrate. :):) Til then!



*All photos have already been uploaded in my Facebook! :)

HA?

To be exact, it's right after 15 days.
So. what does it mean?

Time flies, yea?

Yesterday, I went to Yishun, North Point.
It's right, nearly 10 months since I last went there.
It was kinda pretty short trip, didn't stayed long over there.

Just went for interview for COMEX fair's job, and left.
Still, I'm kinda know the place well.
It's like been there like three years plus, right?

If it's going to be oneyear, itwillbeoneyearforthemtoo.

Anyway, anotherfivemoredays, willyoustillremember?

------------------------------------------------

Put that aside, I'm working on a project, creation of company's website.
Prolly, will need to use of Joomla - which I think it's the best&easiest for me, right now.
I need to find out, how the database works for putting information into the websites.
I'm pretty confident to do the layout but how to access the layout via Joomla?

I'll need to do alot of reading later on.
&i've just kinda wasted the project timing from the 18th until today :(
I felt pretty bad for it.

I'll buck up and put my efforts in it.

Iknow forums+google can help me most :D

The last time....

I just read her blog.

They've been watching movies.
Well, I remembered the last time, we don't usually watch movies together..
Why? Reason: He downloaded them all &watched it at his place.

&now, they been out watching movies day and long.

SAY! what's this :(
ok, im still very concerned about it.

SIGH! =(

ninthmonth

I said, I'll come back to blog today.

It's 04 again.
itsninthmonthagain.
&guess what.

I met my driver instructor at market, &he told me that he saw him.
&evening time, I went to meet my friend, we talked about him.

the topic today was like him and him and more him.

Anyway, I seriously 佩服 my friend, from stepping out.
I guess, i'm just unwilling. :(

Sigh.

:(

I think

this hurts.

"Oh well. I think i remember him going Genting with his ex.
But who cares."

離別篇 （二）

離別對我而言，真的真的不好受~

我依然還是掉眼淚……
不然，就是眼淚在眼睛里打鑽……

------------------------------------------------


《最近》我聽了
有很多很多的回憶……
回憶依然在我腦力的轉啊轉~



你…… 過的還好嗎？







我想我變的更情緒化了。

“我們…… 會幸福吧” 這是歌完了以后的一句話

離別

我不喜歡離別

離別會讓人掉眼淚
不由知足的淚會從臉頰掉下

也許 我經過了不好的離別
然而 我現在看到離別的劇情
我會掉眼淚

離別的戲碼 依然會讓我想起 ‘我跟他’
我的眼淚就是我依然從我的臉頰滑落

結論是 我不喜歡離別

離別是感傷 :(

still

It's the exact same green color I had that he had received from.
It's salmon sashimi, from my influence.
But did you know?
I've just learned a new 'way' to eat the salmon sashimi?
When ordering salmon sashimi, ask for the belly part.
Definitely, thumbs up &worth the price.

The picture he used was way nicer than his current one(looks).
I feel that his current one looks abit gay instead of the 帅气.

&I dont know why. I'm having a strong feeling that, prolly he still do treat me like a friend. Perhaps, he still remembers me. &I'm thinking &having the urge to like send him his birthday wish, prolly, he'll also do the same on my birthday itself?

Perhaps,
final conclusion:

I still miss him. :(


if only you remove all the blocks :/

its8thmonthsalready

It's 04 again.
Itstheeightiethmonthalready.
Time flies.

&his birthday just over.
been pondering if I should give him an email to wish him a happy birthday.
but friends around me, telling me that, it's not necessary because he just dont bother.
&why should I. However, I still feel like, to me, as a friend, I should just wish him.

Well, I did in my heart. on my blog, in the Twitter. It's just a matter of fact if he knows it anot.
I guess, that's the best I can do? Prolly, just what my friends said, he just don't care?

I seriously wonders how do I get over these eightiethmonths. I guess, credits goes to my friends? But time really flies :(

Voiceless over a night

I guess, coughing do spreads.
&I also don't know what happened to me.

Just over a night, I was on the phone with my friend, from my 100% voice to like 50%
&my voice from 50% dropped all the way to 0% now.

Yes, it's 0%.
How can this be?!
I also don't know what happened. :/

I guess just too many nights of sleeping late &waking up early. :(

李聖傑

Okay, this is a sup random post.

Just watched&heard 李聖傑‘s song &reminds me of 《最近》
I remember the last time I heard 《最近》,
I still cried.

Hence, I'm kinda of scared of listening back to this song.
Nevertheless, I still like this song.

IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

KL Trip

&here I'm back again.

Just take a note that,

I'll be away for KL Trip from 23 June to 25 June 2010 :)

&I read back my last post. It's been weeks since I lasted updated.

I also donno what to update about thou I've pretty busy schedule down the road.

Anyways!
Hopefully I'll be back again to post some photos then!

unwell

I was totally unwell after drinking The Ultimate + The Extreme from Coffeebean yesterday.

1. Very bad headache after a few mouths of drink.
2. Suppose to get to bed at 12+am, but caught on phone chat until 3.30am.
3. After phone call, vomited!
4. Pop-ed one giddy+vomiting pill &dropped dead.
5. Woke up at 11am. -.-

&I've learnt not to drink Ultimate+Extreme. I totally cannot take it.
Super long ever since I've vomited. -.-

Terrible feeling. :(

Pictures speaks a thousands words.

Pictures speaks a thousand words.




Graduation Day (21st May 2010)








Secondary School Class Gathering (22th May 2010)








Post-Graduation Celebration (23th May 2010)





Ever since the previous post,
I've been going out almost everyday.
Yes, it's everyday. I mean everyday.

Thus, if anyone asking if I'm feeling better,
there's only one answer to it.

"As long as I'm busy with things,
I'll not think of it.
So far, might be still fine.
Still, empty time = previous post."


Updates:
24th: training at Pasir Ris East CC as Assistant Facilitator; attended classmate's dad's funeral. &when paying the respect at altar, my tears in the eye rolling. I know it's sadness.

25th: works as Assistant Facilitator in Day Camp @Pasir Ris, Hai Sing Secondary School; went to Potong Pasir to return the gown.

26th: Shag ttm(to the max); in the end, neck strained; rest at home.

27th: Interview at Eunos; met up with cousin.

28th: Dinner gathering with Wilson+Andy before Wilson going in for NS(BMT).

29th: Coffee talk with bff.




After coffee talk (on the journey home), I realised that, I'm kinda mentally drained. I feel like shutting myself from the others. :(

Remember this:
Virgo is a emotional creature.
They are sensitive.
他們是重感情的一種regardless of any issue.

At least, to me, I'm one of them.

I saw him after 6 months at my graduation ceremony.

I'm supposed to blog about my Graduation Ceremony held at Convention Center.
(By the way, I just got home+bathed at 3am yet to sleep + blog first.)

Before even I get into this topic, I would like to blog out my feelings.

Reason? I saw him at the ceremony, he's on duty.
I guess my six sense towards these kind of things is always so true?

I wanted to really speak to someone about my feelings.
But I guess, my friends around me already sian-ed. :/

When the ceremony starts, he's the ushering the VIP. I was stunned. Immediately, I called up Weilin(he's my invited guest, cos Huimin+I went his graduation ceremony). I told him that I saw him. After the VIPs arrived and the National Anthem sang, we sat back at our seats.

My phone rings, 2 smses from Saen + Huimin. On twitter, 1 tweet from Fendy. Their tweet/sms are to tell me about him.

The moment I saw him, my heart beat went faster, hands turned cold. Reason? I'm nervous, he's here. When replying to my friends, the flashbacks came back.

When I was sat down by myself, my heart sank further. I feel like crying then.

I tweeted, I sms bff, Wilson. But then, I did not really tell much to them either. At the moment, I totally have no mood to talk to the friend beside me or anyone else.

I ever thought of getting out from the convention center the moment I saw him for a good crying.

Flashbacks: We attended ceremonies together. When it's my ceremony, he'll attend mine alone. (The last one was ITE Merit Award) When it's his ceremony, I'll attend his alone. (The last one was Lee Kuan Yew Scholarship) He feels proud for my achievements, and I felt the same for him, not forgetting taking photos together. Every time, when we attend each others ceremony, our parents will never tag along due to busy or cannot make it. The feelings is really very different, something like husband+wife.

When I saw him, the ceremony flashback came back. The flashbacks of us talking to each other, seeing each other, the period of time when we're together all came back. I know this matter has passed for half a year already, but I just can't help it but tears flowing down to the cheek.

When I saw him, it's a mixed feeling. I did not prepared to see him at the ceremony. I really thought I will not have to see him, but it's maybe a fate, a test if I've really forgotten about him, if I've really got over him? I guess, results shown, I'm still not.

When I saw him, the flashback of the way we talk to each other nicely comes back. The flashback of the not nice way of talking also back. There's too many flashbacks we had. Be it the unhappy or the happy ones, everything seems like just yesterday. The breakup seems like just yesterday too. My heart sank.


Yes, I would really hope that he'll actually feel happy for me on graduating. I would really hope that he'll wish me congratulations for on graduating. I would want to know what's his reaction when he saw me, when I'm on the stage. Did he look at me? Did he clapped for me? I find him nowhere after the ceremony.



Smiling hard when you're not in the mood is definitely not easy.


The detailed ones, happier ones with photos will be up in the next entry, maybe few days later or something.



Yes, I cried when writing this entry.

sigh!

The previous post is not a good one.
Totally D E M O R A L I Z E D.

Anyways, on the 16th, sudden called up by friend to go out for jalan+dinner. Thus, after dinner, we went for Kbox & catch the last train. (Literally last train; I ran for the last train for my first time. Ha!) &the moment I got onto the train, someone sat on the floor, resembles HIM so much. I stare and look, thinking if it was him anot. But luckily, it wasn't him. If it was him, I really dk how to face?

Then, was on a phone chat with Huimin + Weilin all the way from 1am to 6am on 17th. Chatted alot regarding r/s, studies. Talk about studies, it's once again back to university.

NTU, NUS - To appeal.
SIT - Awaiting for result, but mostly 10% passing rate?
Global SIM - Gonna think of one course that I'm going to apply. Registration fees is bloody expensive, $64.20.

I'm actually kinda happy for Huimin. She's so clear of her path now.
For me? I'm only stuck at "I want to go to university and continue to study." (I sounds like I'm comparing, but actually not. I'm just like dilemma in what path should I be at.) Sigh!

On the 18th, supposed to catch a movie with Bff, but we do not have any movies to catch, thus postponed. &timing was just so right, when movie was cancelled, another group of friends asked out for window shopping and dinner at Orchard. Almost going for another Kbox session, but timing dont fit, went home.

Today, went back to Orchard this morning at 11am to Tangs Private Sales. I've gotten myself Ralph Lauren Romance Perfume. $159 :) This perfume I really love it alot + many of the time, wanted to just write under my wishlist waiting for my friends to get for me. But, I've gotten it myself, finally like after 3-4years of waiting. I got to know this brand of perfume is from a sample, the moment I tried, I fall in love with it. Only he knows I like this perfume. Until today, then maybe more afew people know?

From the 18th onwards, as days nearing Graduation Day, I started to worry what if I would to see him during the Graduation Ceremony. I tweeted to ask for advices. Advices given: "Pretend not to see him, but if really happens to see each other directly, just give a smile." "Pretend never see each other, pretend as a stranger." "Say Hi if see each other." And I thought the best solution is "Pretend not to see him, but if really happens to see each other directly, just give a smile."

But today, I texted my friend who had attended the ceremony, she told me that she saw him. This means that I've a very high possibility of seeing him at the ceremony as well. What should I do? Right now, I really still thinking that we still might be friends? Like, at least, he'll come to me, congrats on your graduation? But come on, my friends will definitely scold me, "Wake up from my damn idea." Sigh. I really don't want to have awkward situation. I rather not to see him at all, otherwise, friends? Perhaps I really need the closure that sighz mama told me. Sigh sigh sigh! I thought of speaking to someone, but none in the list online able to talk too much about.

Tomorrow, I'm attending Weilin's Graduation Ceremony, 8am to be in school. I'm seriously scared to see him. If I'm seeing him as a friend, still not so bad. We're not friends at all? I will still run when I see him.

Does anyone really know about how do I feel? Sigh!

Ending my entry with the perfume that I've bought.


(Now I'm so confident that I'm so sure going to see him. He's on duty on 18th, my friend saw him today. Nevertheless, 20th + 21st he'll be there. HOW!?)

Demoralized

To be frank,
I'm feeling demoralized.

So what, I'm considered a good scorer in the class?
Merely a GPA of 3.245 can't get you anyway, like seriously.
At least, in the local U, you're not eligible.

Getting a 3.245, friends around you will say, "Wow! You had good results. You did not bad already." It seems this case, you're right.

But, not for local U, do you know?
Both local Us that I've applied, rejected my application.
With this result, if you're telling me that I'm good, please tell me why am I not being selected?

Seriously, I'm very very upset.
I thought that I'll get into one of the uni. However, the local ones, their standard are so much way higher. How am I going to get in? I'm the one that's not hardworking enough.

Totally D E M O R A L I Z E D ! :(

I thought it was him.

My friend, Weilin called me said he met someone at Admiralty!

At the first thinking, I shouted out, "You saw Alvin?!"

In the end, it was someone else.

This shows that, my mind still is HIM, not others yet, right?

exactly half a year

threeupdates for 04may2010:

Jolene Chua's Birthday
生日快樂HOR!!
Sweeeeet 18th OKAYYYYYYYYY! ❤

SIT Interview.
Totally lost, i guess.

&lastly, it's exactly sixmonths, half a year.
date of today: exactly half a year, sixmonths.

Does He Really Love Me?

Updates: He's back in school again anyways, from today onwards.
Discharged, Normal, Better.

-----------------------------------------

I just got home, checked email, &found out this, &I read on.
The past flashbacks cameback.

"Does He Really Love Me?"

(Source from: http://www.shoppinglifestyle.com/rd.asp?id=2096)
Or is he in it just for the sex? 7 definite ways to tell.

'Does he really love me?' -- some women pick petals off a daisy for the answer, but there's actually a more definite way to tell: Love experts dish out the seven clear signs of a man in love.

1. He is affectionate, and not just sexually

"Men in love can never get enough contact from the woman they love," explains Lance McKeithan, author of Understanding Men. They'll want to hold your hand, cuddle, hug and kiss -- these are basically the actions of a man in love. Don't confuse sexual touching with these displays of affection, though. "If he can't keep his hands off you but every time he touches you it turns into sex, this may not be love but lust," adds McKeithan.

2. His actions are consistent with his words

Some men are so good at whispering sweet nothings, they can make you feel on cloud nine with honeyed words alone. But "don't be fooled by his words, especially if they are contrary to his actions," cautions McKeithan. Look to his actions for the real answer. For instance, when you're down with a nasty cold, a sweet-talker will say things like "I'd trade places with you if I could, sweetheart" but then still proceed to meet with his buddies at the pub anyway. A man who truly loves you, on the other hand, thinks of your welfare every time, and acts in a thoughtful, affectionate, and selfless manner. He will cancel his night out to take care of you -- even if it means missing the Liverpool match.

3. He plans future for the two of you

A man who genuinely loves you will want to share his future with you. Period. "Just remember this. Every man you have every dated who has said he doesn't want to get married or doesn't believe in marriage, or has 'issues' with marriage, will, rest assured, someday be married. It just will never be with you," says Greg Behrendt, co-author of He's Just Not That Into You. If he's hesitant or gives excuses whenever you bring up the topic of marriage, he doesn't love you enough to want to settle down with you. Move on as quickly as you can.

4. He loves to make you happy

A man in love makes you feel loved. He won't compare you with his ex. He won't openly flirt with other women to make you jealous. He's great to be around and he loves to make you smile. Men in love don't have excuses for why they can't find ways -- they don't need to be nagged to do this or bribed to do that. "If you're with a man who puts up a fight when it comes to doing something that will bring a smile to your face, he's probably with you only for sex," explains McKeithan.

5. He loves spending time with you

You can easily spot a man in love through his attitude. "If he loves you, he wants to spend time with you, and everything you do together is a pleasure, not a chore," says McKeithan. You can be watching DVD re-runs for the tenth time on weekends, running errands together, or some other less-than-fun activities, but he still enjoys your company.

6. He is not easily annoyed by you

"Even when you break his favorite mug he is more concerned with your well being than a few shards of porcelain," reveals McKeithan. That's not to say that he's a pushover, but he is certainly not a man who is easily annoyed, angered, or agitated by the things/mistakes/accidents you do.

7. He is emotionally available

A man in love should be able to love you freely, meaning he must not be already married or engaged to another women or otherwise emotionally unavailable.

"No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot full and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing," says Behrendt. What you're getting from him is scraps and it doesn't bother him that he's short-changing you. Do you call that real love? Not to mention that he's okay with cheating. He may be in it for the sex or the thrill -- but certainly not for love.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Out of the 7 points, I especially 'highlighted' the last line in purple, which kinda remains of the past, like seriously. That line is like so true? It will have a lot's of things unexplained at that line, except a few friends whom might know about it.

"I don't understand why people like to stalk their ex-s and new girlfriends/boyfriends."

This line usually appears around after breakup, isn't it? However, I guess, that's the reason they care? the reason for couldn't letting go? the reason for many many other reasons that cannot be spell out? It's just like something that cannot be explain? Like something why you're in love with someone.

For the very first time, after a chit-chat session with friends at Holland V, makes me don't feel sleepy/doesn't want to sleep mood. IDK why. I mentioned alot of him during our conversations.

Hmmm......

Goodmorning?

Heart Infection, worst case: heart transplantation?

Updates:

He's diagnosed with heart infection. Worst case is a heart transplantation?

But he can updates his status means, he's fine right?
He's not that serious?

&i'm more concerned about his family actually.

He's in ICU now.

I received news that He's in ICU now.
From what I hear and what I see,
I just don't think he's in a very serious condition.

But then, because of him,
I feel that I'm troubling people unnecessary.

I just don't know why.
I feel kinda depressed?
Reason for depressed, I also don't know.

Just don't have the mood at all for now.
Perhaps, all I'm worrying is for his mom and his gf.

Perhaps, I'm just too much.
I shouldn't be troubling my friends about his things.
I bet they'll feel I'm a very 麻煩 person.

In any case,
thank you to all my friends for tolerating my nonsense.

Sigh! :(

P.S: He changed his number already.

Bon Voyage

I don't like to listen people to tell me “一路順風".
(Reminds me of the continue part when we joke about it.)

I prefer "Bon Voyage".

Updates!

17th March 2010
I went for my DBS interview &reached like half hour earlier when it's supposed to be at 11am.
The whole interview is like about 1 hour. After which, I met up with Fendy &had lunch at Ramen Ten @HarbourFront Centre. Then we headed to Plaza Singapura to get his friend's pressie. However, kinda wasted trip. &we headed down to Bugis as I'm supposed to meet my cousin after her school :) Fendy joined us as he had to go for sensei at 5pm. So, we headed to Ksuite, our first attempt at $18nett (Student Promo). Unfortunately, we did not take photos -.- &after Ksuite, my cousin and I headed to 313@somerset for Marche while Fendy heads home.

Marche is nice :) We did not take any photos on the food. But we took polaroid on ourselves :D
&we talk about chemical warmer packs. I'll have to get that for my Taiwan trip. I can't imagine how cold it'll be. After the whole dinner, we went for photoshoot. Photoshoot on her &myself. using her DSLR. :)


Using the polaroid


Photoshoot taken by her.

Her's over here.

18 March 2010
I stayed at home & clearing HK dramas. 《法證先鋒 I & II》

19 March 2010
I met up with Weilin, Jack and Swee Guan to the Taiwan Visitor Association to get something done for our Taiwan trip. The place is located at Shenton Way. But, I only got to travel to HarbourFront + wait for Weilin, &Jack drove us to Shenton Way. :) After getting the things done, Swee Guan drove us to CCK :) Then we talk about Taiwan trip alittle while waiting for Andy and Wilson to come. We're meeting for a dinner at the very last minute. &surprisingly all are free! :) I texted them, "Are you free, we're meeting for dinner before we fly off. &meeting at 6.30pm to 7pm at CCK." &they are so steady :) When they had arrived, Swee Guan drove us to Austwine (to find Huimin :)) &had our dinner over there. &last minute, we opened a bottle of White Grape Dessert Wine &a glass of Red Wine. It's just craving. :) But still, I don't really like the strong alcohol smell. -.-

Some pictures to share :)


20 March 2010
I met up with Huimin and Weilin &we went to Bugis to the temple praying. &we went for lunch at Pastamania at Bugis Junction, &chit-chatted until time for Huimin to leave for work. Then, Weilin & I went for shopping as I wanted to get some winter wear -.- In the end, Weilin spent 20bucks for 2 T-shirts from Jeep. As for me, I spent 5bucks on changing my watch's battery & the retail girl kinda 'damage' my watch but still repaired it for me, took me like 20mins of waiting -.- Then we parted & I went to IMM. I regretted cabbing over. It's freaking expensive when I board the cab start rate is already near 8bucks. Peak Period + City Area. When I reached IMM, it's a total of $20.55. Duper ex, pls. :( Then I spent like about nearly $100 on getting some thermal wears for the trip. But still not enough! I seriously not sure what should I do with it. I'm kind of trying to save up in another bank, din want to get the money from there. :/ OMG!
Checklist not done. Everything not done. But at least, I'm getting scarf from my cousin on the 23rd :)


21 March 2010
&today, I was asked to go for Food Fair at Expo. I rejected, I'll have to help Mom to get her things. So, this explain everything. I'll be staying at home, chatting on MSN, watching Dramas & Variety shows. Should be it already :)

What an long entry I had for today.
Bye!

Drank

I went for a drink today.
Red Wine + White Grape Dessert Wine.

I think I can sleep early today already.
I don't know why, I'm kinda pretty tired already.

Bye for now. Will be back tomorrow night again, hopefully?

Maybe tmr?

I'm supposed to update.

But kinda lazy + tired now.

I don't know why I'm tired already when I've taken like nearly 12hours of sleep.

Maybe just that I'm still coughing + sneezing away?

I'll back to update maybe tomorrow night or Saturday night :)

Bye for now.

我全都相信

“我全都相信
相信你說的每一句
每一句我答應我可以
我不會負你

我全都相信
相信你說的每一句
每一句只差一句
我愛你”




Im feeling so (fill-in the blanks)
I watched 《就想賴著你》 episode 6 (TV series),
I teared.
It reminds me of HIM &our relationship.

&after the whole show,
my mood sank.

Only 3 hours of sleep

I slept at 6am this morning & woke up at 9.30am this morning.
Am supposed to meet my cousin at 10.30am at Bugis, but when I gave her a call at 8am, she said push back the meet-up to 11am. So, I went back to sleep.

&right, according to the total number of hours I slept today, I still do not feel tired at all yet.
I think coffee wonders? I drank Dark Mocha from Starbucks earlier on.

Purpose of meeting my cousin is to accompany her for photoshoot. She needs street photos. We had our lunch at Soup Spoon. &I treated her :) Then we go for coffee at Starbucks. Then we headed off to Sungie Road so that she can do some shootings. &right, the weather is damn HOT!

Both of us are literally sweating away. &did not take much photos, or the effects is not there. &we decided to get into Sim Lim Square first before heading back. But who knows! It rained so heavily. We're caught inside Sim Lim Square. Then, I went to get screen liquid cleaner + Nikon battery :) Soon, the rain stopped. But when we are about to head out, it starts to rain heavily again. Totally ruined the day on photoshooting. In the end, my cousin cabbed to school while I stopped at Bugis & take bus back to Jurong (IMM).

&by the time I get home, it's already 5+ in the evening. All the way until now, I haven sleep. &not sleepy.

&last night, I'm like super interested in using 3G to online via my mobile. I tried out at my free usage of $5. Let alone 2 days only, I've used 2MB whereas the $5 worth 500KB -.- I totally exceeded 1.5MB which means, I got to pay additional $15. &I got pretty worried, &called up M1 to check it out &listen to what kind of advice they will give. :)

I'm kinda thinking should I just get the iPhone value Plan with a monthly cost of $41.35 including GST with Free 3 M1 to M1 callers, unlimited SMS, data bundle of 12GB, caller-ID.

Though I'm like in dilemma, the M1 CSO is good. He said he'll help me to monitor my usage, &see if I will/need to change into that plan. He helped me to waiver off my one-time registration for the data bundle service, the exceeded $15 as well as if I were to exceed my 20.5MB usage (worth $37). He's in a good mood. He did waiver and waiver and more waiver :)

In final conclusion, the CSO waiver, waiver and did more waiver for me. &now I'm with a Sunsaver Student Plan with Free 3 M1 to M1 callers, unlimited SMS, data bundle of 20.5mb, caller-ID with a monthly cost of $36.38 including GST. This is so cool :D

So now, I can use 3G to online :)
(Something that I really will never think about it at all. Although it's kinda in-trend since iPhone launched.)

Alright, that's all for today. :)
Going for Dota now :D

Little updates #2

I'm back in the same day.

Just wanna share.
My unlimited sms has been activated :D
I'm happy + don't need to scare burst bill for sms already (which I usually do.)

&right, I took a nap earlier on,
I dreamed of him.
The dream is very blur.
"I saw his name on Facebook again."
&the dream is very short. less than 3 seconds?
The moment I dreamed that I see his name on fb,
I woke up IMMEDIATELY.

Something like, wanna double confirm,
but then, it's a dream after all :(

&thru-out the whole day, since last night, I'm like having tummy upset.
Totally feeling terrible. & my sleeping time, all haywire.
I slept at 4am, woke up at 9am. Fell asleep again until 12noon. Then fell asleep again in the noon.
Sleep, wake up, sleep and wake up.

This is a very very bad for body. :/

&&&I'm done in editing the videos + uploaded it already :)

Shall share it here. :)
It's the videos that we took at Impresario 2010 Grand Finals when Weijian is performing :)

1. 變化



2.咬字

Little updates

Last update is on 4th March 2010.

Now I'm back updating.
I actually kinda feel like consistent update my blog.
Get back my nuffnang hits.
But then, 有心無力~

Anyways, little updates. :)
Weijian is back in action in Singapore.
At least, managed to attend 2 events of his in year 2010.
Then we'll not know when's next already.
Perhaps, May? June? July?

We only know when it's time to meet, means, it's time for his 2nd album :)
I'm very looking forward. It's the 2nd year since he first launched his first album.
I hope the market is welly good for him :)

Group photo for both events.


I kinda spent my first week of March very hectic.
Thus, I fell sick on the second week of March.
So sick that, I'm down with coughing, sneezing + no voice.

But now! I'm recovering very well, without consulting doctor. :)
I saved up the western medication fees and spent merely 10bucks on liang tei (涼茶).

My voice is back. &I'm kinda waiting for people to go kbox with me.
& 2nd week of March is ending soon.
IT fair this week, I'm heading down on the last day.
I hope to catch some good deals yea?

&right! I've finally changed my mobile plan from SunTalk 150(which doesn't seems to exist anymore) to SunSaver - Student Plan. (Yes, I'm a M1 user.)

Same pricing with my old ones but better benefits. Basically, what's good about my current plan will be:
1. 3 free M1-M1 calls (I've already used up 2 slots. left 1)
2. Unlimited SMS (Yes, you did not hear me wrong!)

I can't wait for my STUDENT plan to be activated :D
(I'm thinking to get iPhone anot.)

Anyway, lately, 2 nights in a row. I'm back playing Dota again, after two years. The supposed to know 'skills' are rusted. TOTALLY A NOOB NOW~ :/ I'm so-going to train up my skills, hopefully.

&right! I applied a CSO job at DBS Bank.
I'm being called to go down for Proficiency test on 10th March, half hour after I left the office, I received a call from them that I'm like-selected to go down again for a face-to-face interview on 17th March. It's a full-time job, but I'm still want to pursue my degree after I've received my results, shall nego with them. :)

I guess, this pretty summarize up the happenings around me. :)
&before I missed it out, I almost had an argument with bff. but everything is alright already, i supposed.

Yups, pretty summarized up already.
What an lengthy post I had.

Back to edit videos. CYA!

4th month.

It's the 4th month already.

Advertorial - Teenage

I saw this advertorial in my email.
Kinda pretty interesting uh.
(Cause, I kinda like media as well.)



Click to have a bigger view.
So, if you're interested, do sign up.

I'll be back again, bloggin some time later.
Just an advertorial first. :)

END OF PAPERS!

Yesterday was my last paper.
& finally it's the last one.
finally there's no need to like stay up late to study, stay overnight to study.
I just want to have a long long sleep. (to replenish my sleep)

I'm just sooooooo busy studying (i mean it) that I did not watch any shows, no blog no nothing. :/
But, I'm back for now!

Papers ended, my classmates shouts, "Graduate Loh"
Lol! Through-out the whole of like 20 mins? IDK
Anyway, after the papers, we went to Marina Square, Breeks for dinner.
&I headed off to Marsailing for mahjong with cliques (L)

Totally loves, reason? I usually dont win at the mahjong table.
But! Bff came & i won like $14?
Alright, it's seems litter, but then..
To me, I enjoyed the time with them :)

After winnings, we went for breakfast using the winnings. :)
Sounds bit not nice at all, like. using another friend's money to treat breakfast ugh.
I guess, it ought to come up with new idea to it.

&from the dinner session that I had with my friends,
they came up a plan to disturb one of our friend, Z.
after hearing the whole session, IDK what to do.
but to what I know about friend, Z he's not like the kind of will tolerate to such things.

IDK what's going to happen.
Just that, one side will be having their fun they want to.
Another side, is Z will be 'fighting' back?
Results? IDKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Perhaps, this is what girls will react?
At least for me, I dont want to see unhappiness within friends, especially the ones like pretty close with me. I'll be just not feeling good.

That's all for now.
Goodnight + Bye.

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(I might going back to sleep soon, 24 hours of sleep?)

some little update about me and him.
It's like ever the break-up.
I NEVER SEEN HIM AGAIN.
Yesterday I trained passed-by Yishun, I totally missed the stop at Yishun.
When I realised it, it's already at Sembawang station.
He blocks me on twitter, msn.
Now soon, to be facebook? (or already is?) -> IT IS (updated as of 28thfeb,1.26am)
&he gotten iphone for himself. totally WOW manz.
&he's flying to taiwan too on like 26march.
I hope I just wont see him.
friends again ever possible?
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

:(

Finally submitted 2 reports, done with 1 exam.

Left with 1 assignment which our lecturer extended one more day for us, 23feb-9am deadline.
&1 exam on 26th feb-4pm

Now is 4.44am. I'm not in bed.
Still chatting w bff while blogging.
Later gonna hit the school like 10plus, i guess.

Hopefully I'll finished up my assignment by like later of the day in school.
Planning to like overnight in school on Monday night all the way to the next day to submit the assignment. But it's not confirm at all.

&I've a very strong feeling.
A feeling likes, a very close friend of yours is chatting with you, but without daily updates with each other, somehow, the close friend will still not your close friend afterall & these includes even they are our BFF.

I believe that applies to any type of the relationship. Be it love or friend or even your family.
Both parties just got to work hard to maintain any relationship.
&I'm greatful that my FC peeps that we are kinda working together. Otherwise, we will not still be talking together :)

Going to be the 4th month soon. & I realised that. 19th is their 3rd month getting together.

& I saw this on one of my friend's facebook status "You cannot make someone to love you. All you can do is stalk regular checks up on them and hope that they panic and give in.."

Totally 講到我的心坎里去了~

&right, when I'm on my way home today from dinner with friends, my mood went down together with the bus when it's moving so slowly. Somehow, many flashbacks comes into the mind. &maybe i should just find one day to head back to reservoir again.

Hmm.

(by the time, i finished this entry. it's already 5.19am)

CNY Day 2

CNY Day 2.
Told myself not to go visiting, not to go gambling.

&I'm supposed to do my work.
Whatever I've done, all I merely did was just submitting my applications online for the Unis.

Then, I took a nap.
Continued to watch my show.
& looping 何維健‘s 《變化》whenever my player is free.

&now it's about 11pm soon.
I yet to finish a single report.
I also had not started studying for my exam on the coming friday.

&the more i listen to the song, somehow I've alot of feelings against the song lyrics written.
Thanks for my FC lovelies. Sigh figured out the lyrics for us. :)

I'm still listening to the song,
& this is what it shows on my twitter & time check.




Maybe, still I yet to get over~

I really wish 我可以大哭， 大哭后，一切就會沒事了嗎？

Happy Chinese New Year!

I'm home already like 8pm.
The earliest ever in the years of CNY.
Reason? I just gotta work on my task.
Pretty long-list.
I feel like dying soon.

I feel like enjoying. but the mood is not there.
I feel like relaxing. but the mood is not there.
I feel like ignoring my task. but I CAN'T!

in short, there's no mood at all. :(

I better get going on applying for unis. :/

CNY EVE

It's the CNY eve.

Nothing much to be special apart that CNY + Valentines falls on the same day.
But to me, it just makes no different.
I'm single, I'm not attached.
I'm still pondering over.
I'm still not over yet.

Yesterday, I met up with friends to discuss about the itinerary of our Taiwan trip.
Prolly from 10 days, we might be extending to 15 days. & my close friend spot-check my wallet.
He checks if my wallet's photo changes back to that photo.

Obviously, I'm not a very hardworking person towards such things. Therefore, when I remove it, means I removed it. But forget anot, is another thing already.

&let alone this week. I've gone to Kbox twice. I don't mind going it again like coming week. But I doubt anyone is free to go with me or wants to go with me. I just want to be outside until late night or something. I dont want to cope myself in the house. Umm.

1 assignment due on the 18th Feb.
1 report due on the 18th Feb.
2 reports due on the 19th Feb.
1 End Of Module Test on the 19th Feb.
1 assignment due on the 22th Feb.
1 Semester Exam on the 26th Feb.
1 assignment interview due on the 1st Mar.

I'm not going to gamble on this year's Chinese New Year.
On Day 1 night, I suppose I'll be home already.
Sounds boring, but it's the like last few weeks of poly.

I haven submit my registrations for the unis.

Hmm.

Bff: Sorry! 真的對不起~


何維健首播《變化》 【魔幻视界主题曲】- Really nice. When I first heard, my tear almost roll down from my cheeks. Totally touches my heart. (L)

Awesome TOPSHOP!

Last night, I went to Vivo with my cousin.

&I feel so awesome.

Why?
I did not spend a single cash.
I use my credit card + nets.

Credit card at Topshop and Starbucks.
Nets on cab.

The first time I ever spent my money at Topshop.
Yes, 22 years of my life, (please don't laughs) but first-time purchase at Topshop is really awesome. Awesome as the reason that, I gotten what I've wanting to get, leggings.
I'm definitely going back to get one top & more leggings :)

&my sleep is totally ruined.
I wanted to have a good sleep to replenish all the sleep that I've missed.
But you know,
I dreamt of my ICD on how to do, codes everything in the dream.

Totally SIAN-ED :(

&right now. I'm still watching 超級星光大道 Season 1.
&I'm looking forward to Taiwan trip.
&I'm thrilled going back to 99 Turns if there's chance.

Did I mention this? He blocks me on Twitter. Still can be friends?
I guess, dream on already.

It's the 3rd month

I just realized.
A total of nearly one month of not blogging already.

I thought I'll be 'keen' in updating ya.
But then, the moment I'm home, I just feel like mugging myself with variety shows & more shows and more online mahjongs. In school, I'll be just doing my work on and on.

&starting from 1feb to 28feb, it's the period for the 3rd years in poly to register ourselves into the university. University life, I want to go. Pretty upset actually. I do not have the confident to get into any local uni. I yet to make any registration either. What should I do actually? :( I'm kinda feeling discourage.

These nights i've been eating alot. I feel so sinful, please! &I've got my cousin to forbid me eating dinner when I meet her tmr. We're heading to vivo tmr :)

Today's the 4th of the month again.
It's the 3rd month already.
Obviously, I still care.

&it's the 4th of the month. 26th is the last day of me going to school. (last day already - that's exam day too.) this semester is so fast. When i feel that I've kinda a little bond with the class, the school is coming to an end already. I hope all our friendship will not just end when we have graduated. :( (kinda feeling emo.)

It's the 4th today.
Last day of all report + project + PBIL submissions on the 19th.

Look at my tasks.
1. Internet Client Development Website
2. Technopreneurship Report
3. Network Managment Report + PBIL
4. Final Year Project Report (Prolly - 30+ pages)

Though it's just 4 tasks, it's not easy at all. &it's 15 days away.
I just need more motivations.

I'm so into 超级星光大道 1 recently.
The moment I got home, I'll watch and watch.

I need to get my work started.
I wan to reach school at 8am tmr & do my work.

PLEASE! do not overslept anymore.
(I've overslept straight in 2 days. :/)

&some overdue pictures.







Weilin's Birthday 2010
- 15th January 2010

30th January 2010

Should be all for now.

多愁善感

I'm still in school - Time check: 8.59PM

I'm blogging now in school.
Yes, I'm still in school.

Edited: I've cleared up the links corner.
-------------------------------------

previous entry was totally super emo.
I can't help it.

In the end, guess what's my reactions?
I dozed off from watching one of the taiwan drama yesterday.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

&today I woke up with a 'clear' mind.
Cabbed to school, reached school to continue with the FYP.
Tomorrow is the big day.
Biggest day among my Poly life, having industrial panel to judge our project. &deciding to get any points from the 11 points that might be given out to each group.

I'm still here in school, with my 2 other team mates.
1 of them trying his very best to complete his part.
2 of us are giving him our moral support.

I went dinner with my friends at FC4 & will have to pass by Auditorium.
I always have this feeling that, whenever I'm passing by Auditorium, I might be having some chance to like 'meet' his gf (which I don't want to at all).

Appearing to be strong, but I guess I don't want to get the fact into my head.
I'm dropping this entry.

Bye.

Exactly two months.

Today is the exact date. two months from break up.
& on the 19th November he's onto another new relationship.
& on the 26th December my friend saw him with another girl holding hands. (was a different girl)

So, what about me?
I guess, today I almost met him.

I saw his SPARC's friends, at another glance, I saw his classmates.
I believe that he's with them as well. (but still did not see him. - I seriously don't know what to do if I were so happened to see him.)

I don't know why.
Perhaps, I did not cry.

Did you know that if a serious matter happened, yet have not much expressions expressed, is something unusual? Somehow, all my feelings are kept somewhere.

I rather I can cry out, like seriously.
I want to let out my feelings. How could I?

I did not get to bed at all until 4am.
But I woke up at 6.30am, 7.30am feeling not a single rest/nap at all.
I'm not tired for some reasons.

Perhaps, I'm still hurt.
Perhaps, I'm still pondering over.

I don't know what should I do.
I appeared strong.
But, when's the time am I able to appear weak?

Sharing a video


為什麼不相信我　為什麼要懷疑我
一個不小心眼神的交錯　被當作亂放電的誘惑
我雙魚　為什麼天蠍要恨我

＊難道都是我的錯　我該生氣還難過
　一杯被當做證據的紅酒　換來的咒罵(耳語)喋喋不休
　你罵的　還不夠嗎

＃我要飛走　我要自由　我要用最溫柔的復仇
　讓你一無所有　讓你在說我的時候　很有理　卻會心痛

△我要飛走　我要自由　我要用最溫柔的刑求
　讓你一無所有　讓你在說謊的時候　想到我　會很心痛

我已經不會難過　沒有什麼好難過　就當我的愛掉進了黑洞
做過的夢是一陣旋渦　沒了你才有出口

The above bold lyrics totally spelt my feelings.
with addition “if only"

Sigh! :(

Not to be seen

I've seen something that I should not be seeing at all.
(You should know)

Sigh.

I don't know what feelings should I put this in.
Should I even breathe this to anyone?

As usual, within 2 weeks everything is settled.
SETTLED?! Is that even the word to use?!

Or should I not even react in this way?
(What should I do?)

:(

finally doctor seen

I've been sick since 29th December 2009 all the way until now.
It's a new year of second day.

& I've finally seen the doctor in the morning.

This morning at about nearly 3am, I got high fever again, for no reason.
Finally able to get to see the doctor. Doctor asked if I want to get MC, I told him to give me the MC on 4th January, just in case, I'm not going to the school. But I don't see the case anymore. I guess I'll still have to go to school on the 4th already :(

After I've seen the doctor, I cabbed to the school. I was in the total lethargic mood. Stand a bit, I'll feel very restless. The moment I reached school, the whole lab was like a sauna, no air-con at all. Soon after I've taken my medications, I fell asleep. I even skip my lunch with them (I totally feel not well, just like I can go blackout anytime) and stayed back to just sleep. At that point of time, I totally just feel like going home for a sleep. I guess it's the medications taking effects.

Talking about the medications, I've a total of 13 pills to take when I got to take the medicine. 8 types of medications, 1 cream to pull on, total of 13 pills to be taken. I guess, this is the most pills I've taken when I'm sick.

& I stayed all the way back in school until 8.40pm to do my FYP. At the minimum, I guess, our FYP is about 85% completion. :) I'm pretty happy about it. During halfway of doing my project, my friends suddenly said to me that, I look seriously pale & the type of people who just came out from the pregnancy room (Don't ask me why they use this as an example.) But I guess, that's usually how a pale person really looks like. For me, I seriously don't know about it. Perhaps, I'm really too sick.

Look at this picture.


That's the total of pills I've to take. Exactly 13 pills.
The one in green are the most awful taste that I'm dread of.
The one in white(big ones) are the ones that's I'm also dread of.
I guess, I dread of medications.

Alright!
I guess I have to rest early tonight to compensate my rest just now at the hot sauna lab.
Bless me with speedy recovery!

SHITZ! The pills are still stuck at my throat?!

Sick like totally

The feeling that's I'm having just like....
totally sick until like I've been lying in bed.

Keep on sleep and sleep through out the day.

& I told my mom that I won't be home in the afternoon tomorrow.
Guess what she told me?

She told me not to go and stay at home to rest, like for the first time!
Ok, to me, it's totally very shocking for me.
Usually, she won't care about this at all.

I've been coughing like mad. Just as if like, I'm coughing my lungs + throat out of my mouth. Do you know that feeling? Totally cannot stand it already. :( The right side of my throat is also killing me. Merely swallowing the saliva kills me. It's pain like totally.

But on the bright side, at least my voice is not totally gone already. It's coming back alittle. :)

I'm heading to bed once again. (Sick until don't even feel like using the laptop like seriously.)
Tomorrow gotten go to the clinic (like finally) + going back to school.

Goodnight.
(P.S: Please stop coughing.)

Happy New Year 2010

It's 01 January 2010.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

As usual, I'm still down with sickness.

1. Throat pain
2. No voice
3. Dry/Wet Cough
4. Blocked nose.
5. Green color phlegm
6. Herpes Simplex Type 1


The above sickness that I've got, I wanted to get to the clinic this morning.
The No. 1 to No. 5 wanted to get to my regular doctor to see. But then, it's closed! & I thought it opens on public holiday. Then I realized they removed that line that states "including public holidays", which means, they no longer open on public holidays.

So be it, I went off to another clinic to see the herpes simplex type 1 virus. Last time I had that before, so I went back to the same place to get the medication. I wanted to just buy the medication but they insist that, it's too long from the last date that I've visited. Therefore, I have to get to see the doctor. (The only reason that I don't want to see the doctor because, their charges are very high.) Indeed, I came out of the clinic and collect my medicines, only to 'cure' my Herpes SImplex Type 1, it cost me SGD$ 126.00! Yes, you did not see wrongly. That's very expensive, just only that sickness. :(

What's Herpes Simplex Type 1?
Often referred to as fever blisters or cold sores, HSV Type 1 infections are tiny, clear, fluid-filled blisters that most often occur on the face. Less frequently, Type 1 infections can occur in the genital area. Type 1 may also develop in wounds on the skin.

There are two kinds of infections - primary and recurrent. Although most people get infected when exposed to the virus, only 10 percent will actually develop sores. The sores of a primary infection appear two to twenty days after contact with an infected person and can last from seven to ten days.

The number of blisters varies from one to a group of blisters. Before the blisters appear, the skin may itch, sting, burn, or tingle. The blisters can break as a result of minor injury, allowing the fluid inside the blisters to ooze and crust. Eventually, crusts fall off, leaving slightly red healing skin.

The sores from the primary infection heal completely and rarely leave a scar. However, the virus that caused the infection remains in the body. It moves to nerve cells where it remains in a resting state.

People may then have a recurrence either in the same location as the first infection or in a nearby site. The infection may recur every few weeks or not at all.

Recurrent infections tend to be mild. They can be set off by a variety of factors including fever, sun exposure, a menstrual period, trauma (including surgery), or nothing at all.

& Here's the picture that how it looks like.
(source from: http://www.dent.ucla.edu/pic/visitors/herpes/page1.html)


Alright, now for all.
I'm heading back to bed again.
I'm sleepy.