Depressed.

Have you ever felt like this before?

1) When you're at home, when things get lost, your family members will put all the blames on you and tell you, where's the things. (When you've no nuts over it.)
2) When you're on MSN with bf, he asked for opinions, he blames you for giving the negative opinions.
3) When you're on MSN with cousin, he asked for opinions, he blames you for giving negative opinions.
4) When so many such things happened, your precious BF did not console you, YET asked you to go and think over your characters.
5) When you worked for whole day long over the weekends, until 11pm, most of your friends and colleagues would said, "your bf will be coming to fetch you home?" I replied, "Wait for another thousands years."
6) When case 5 was mentioned to another friend, he said, "Maybe he will not get worried that you will be kidnapped by bad guys."
7) When you mentioned that you does not want to live in this world, your bf said, "Do you always think of death when such things occurred?"

Above said, just a few words to summarize everything.
DISAPPOINTED, DEPRESSED. and NOTHING ELSE

So, in my whole life for about 20 years, going to 21 years, my life in living the world is just useless. People needs me, they will come to me. When they don't, they will /ignore me. If it were to be friends, I know, too many circle of friends, you will have difficulties in maintaining the relationship with every single one. But, this were to be BF, I'm utterly disappointed.

So this taught me a lesson that, do not rely on BF so much.

Remembering I took up 2 part-time jobs. All the sake of numbing myself. I guess, I did make the right choice. Though BF is not working anymore, he's just as usual to be so busy. So having a girlfriend is just the name. Nothing much. I guess, working and working. It's not tired. Though working hours are long, but they are not tired. The tired part is, you have to wake up early to work.

Perhaps, I'm just a strong woman in every of my relationship life.

Seriously, I miss the time during my ITE, there's a group of guys treating me like their sisters. They accompanied me all the way when I'm down. They stood by me when I need them. (Well, that was the time when I'm still single.)Now? All have gone to do their things. NS ones, went to army. Working ones, went to work.

Apart from that, now I do have a boyfriend. But when I need someone to stand by me, he will be the first to run away. It's been a long relationship with him. I do enjoy the days being with him. The days he treated me nicely, like a princess. The days we argued and quarreled, like a tigress. So many months, I've known this fact. He may show that he's very interested in me. But I know, the percentage of his love for me is not more than 60%. He may feel that my love for him is very little. But I swear, my love for him is definitely 100%. I may not show on face. But I do. Every single friends of mine who really know me well, they will understand me. Over the 21 months relationship with him, I will wish, that he will care for me just like those we watched over the drama. Well, I know, he will be saying, it's all drama. There's no such things happening in real life. Somehow, I know. He doesn't know when do i need him by my side.

I'm APPRECIATED!

*Clear throat*

Once I blogged about my first cash-out, the unique visits shoots up to 61 again! :D
I'm truly happy about it!

*grins grins*

Next thing, when I look at my Nuffnang on where did my unique visits come from, this is what I've got in one of the days.




Though I'm a Singaporean, but I've noticed that my visitors mostly from Malaysia. No fear, I would still like to say a BIG Thank YOU! :D

Alright. That's it for this post.

I'm appreciated!

THANK YOU!

:D

My first cash-out from Nuffnang!

It's another Sunday.

One week have passed.

I'm here blogging again. This whole week is just a tiring week for me.
I've to submit reports, projects.

In the hand, I have 3 pending projects..

1) NVST - Hacking
2) NSS - Prevent Hacking
3) NWP - Network and Protocols

Due to submitting of reports, I lost my 1GB thumbdrive at my school library during one of the weekdays. I guess, this is a good excuse to get myself a 2Gb thumbdrive? Thumbdrive is light. :D But portable hard disk is good. :) I've got myself 2 portable hard disk already. I'm still thinking, should I get a new thumbdrive?

Apart from this, my end of module exams are coming up very soon. This also means that my 21st Birthday is coming too. I wonder.

During my Saturday, I've attended two 21st birthday celebrations. One is Perlin, my ex-working colleague Another is Shu Chun, my primary school classmate. Both celebrations held at the same day,19th July, same timing 6.30pm with two DIFFERENT venues, 1) Bukit Batok 2) East Coast Chalet.

At Bukit Batok.
She had 2 BBQ pits and a catering buffet. :) BF and I reached early. During the visit, I saw many of my working colleagues too. We stayed until 7.30pm, and went off to another destination, East Coast Chalet. Before we leave, we managed to take 2 pictures with the birthday girl. :)

At East Coast Chalet.
Reached at only about 9pm, I think. As usual, the journey is long. MRT-ed to Bedok and cabbed into the chalet. Met the old friends, but not my primary school friends at all. I thought I would have saw them at the chalet. 3 of them told me that they will be coming down, but when we reached, called them up, but none of them answered my calls, replied my sms. =/ In the end, did not turned up at all. =( In any case, managed to catch up the cake-cutting ceremony. :) Took picture with the birthday girl only. Reason? She's drunk. =/ Kinda disappointed. But, we still self-entertained ourselves. :) Left the place at about 11.15pm. Missed the last train back to Jurong. Ended up, bus-ed home myself from Bedok Interchange to Jurong. Then cabbed back to my home from Jurong. BF? He mrt-ed to Tampiness, cabbed back to his home. I managed to reach home at only 1.20am in the morning. =\

Lazi in bed all the way until 11am. Then prepared myself for work and did some housechors. Then I realized that, my 21st birthday is coming less than a month. Lunar 7th month is also coming soon. Regarding my birthday, seriously, I have nowhere to plan for. I do not know how would I want to celebrate. I'm thinking of celebrating in the Cruise. I'm not sure. Maybe remain in Singapore, and not going anywhere.

Anyway, I'm blogging in the office. ONE BIG NEWS!
I've CLICK ON "Cash-out my earnings"
My first CASH OUT after 9 months.

Look at this.



In any case,
What should I do for my 21st celebrations?

All suggestions are welcome.
Use the tag-board, haloscan OR email me at qingxia@gmail.com

Thank you.

It's time for dinner. :)

Yups, dinner at office desk ALONE.
but BF came just now to deliver dinner to me, and went off for dinner with his friends.
=(

My Previous Post

Regarding my previous post, I talked about my cousin. Actually, I'm not insisting on her to LISTEN to my advices. Is more onto the way 'rejecting' or should I say attitude? From the beginning of our conversation, I have no intention of her that "she is arrogant", but she thinks it that way. And for me putting a post up here DO NOT EVEN meant that I'm disgracing her or something. Is just that afterall blogs is for personal views and opinions right?

Some people will think that putting some posts up here is a big deal like insulting/ disgracing. I guess we have our human rights too. As long as not political/ stuffs like we might get ourselves into troubles, we will have our human rights.

Next thing up..

I've been using Nuffnang's innit for my recent post. However, I've noticed something regarding my nangs. I have been inniting my post for 3 times. Out of the 3 posts, I found out 2 of my post have been danged by the same person for the conservative 2 days.

click to enlarge the pictures


once.


twice.

I hope there will not be a thrice. BUT! I think the thrice is coming up after I posted it up and when the person sees it. And, I've checked, he's a Malaysian! :D

Oh YAH!
My unique visitors came from various of country, such as, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia and United States!

And let alone only for my previous post, I've got myself a 61 unqiue visits a day! I guess this is the highest record I have ever get.



Yesterday, I'm dropped dead. I woke up late for work. Supposely to wake up at 5am, but woke up at 5.21am. With that timing, means I cannot take public transport to work anymore. I will have to take cab. So, I decided to give myself a little more sleep to 5.35am. :D
Then cabbed to work, cannot claim. :( (or I don't know that I can claim.)
Then after work, BF came to fetch me home. Due to some reasons, we cabbed back to my home. Then we mrt-ed to Sim Lim Square to get his USB Fan for his laptop so that his laptop can survive even longer. :) Cheap deal for the USB fan, only $8.90 with STRONG wind.
Then we mrt-ed to Pasir Ris for QiaoYu's 21st birthday celebration at Downtown East Chalet. :) Met some of the friends, did not say much but say a Hi. :) Just in time attended the cake-cutting ceremony and had little bites. We stayed for about an hour and we left. Took picture with birthday girl of course, but picture is not with me yet. And yes! You did not see wrongly. Is PICTURE without the 'S' behind. Too busy for more photos I guess. :) And seriously I thought I could see my Secondary School friends, but ended up, more of my ITE friends. Haha! So we went to WhiteSand for toilet-breaks. Then BF surprised me with sushi-s for my breakfast for today. :) Then we mrt-ed back to Jurong East then he went home. Immediately when I've got home, it's already nearly 12am! And straight after wash-up, I dropped dead on my bed without turning on my laptop already. I woke up at 4.50am this morning to prepare myself to work. I'm just plain lazy to stand throught-out the whole of my journey. (I'm supposed to head to Tanjong Pagar for work) I took the train to Boon Lay and then stayed in train then go to Tanjong Pagar for work. LOL!

Summarize: I'm just very tired.

I thought I would have nap awhile in office, but I did not.
Afterall, I'm a GOOD worker. :D

Nuffnang!

Before I were to go any further, I would say that I've changed my blogskin. :)

I guess somethings happened between my cousin and I. :)

Just that she wanted some advices regarding her DPA (Direct Poly Admission). So I told her what I've seen etc. I told her the facts that many of my friends chosen the course and cannot get into it at all.

I've mentioned to her that in order to choose a course,

1) choose a course that you can get into, and confident about it.
2) choose something that interest you.
3) look out only for the further pay in the future.

So, I have given her examples of what happened to my friends. But she thinks that I'm pouring cold water on her. Therefore, for one who gave advice to and get such replies, these are what happened next.

I told her off. I told her to think whatever way she wants, told her that I'm just telling the facts telling her my advices. From start she wanted advices, I spent the time giving her, but she doesn't want to listen at all, what's the point of wasting my time? I mean it's like, if you want to ask for advice, you will bound to listen to things that you might not want to listen at all. If from the beginning you wanted to listen to something that you like, then don't seek people for advice and maybe seek the closest friend or BF that will always give you positive advices. Get my meaning?

I'm just plain too angry with her attitude. So she left me with, "im just saying that i have faith in myself more than your friends. im just letting you know. you are saying as if im some arrogant shit. nvm forget it.bye"

With that, she went offline and my blogskin got removed by her. Not that she had the password of my blogger, just that the blogskin is she created for me and the pictures and everything is with her, she removed the picture.

And these have summarized why did I changed a 'new' blogskin. I went to search for the skins, but nothing that interest me. Therefore, I edited here and there to become my own blogskins. :D

Next thing on hand, I realised that not many people know what's Nuffnang. Perhaps, Nuffnangers do not feel strange about this issue at all. However, some people still do.

Basically, from what I know, Nuffnang actually gives the opportunity for bloggers to earn cash in both Malaysia and Singapore by giving you Ads on your blog. :) Not only that, they connects all the bloggers in both Malaysia and Singapore together who loves to blog and share their different views with us. They also have features such as "Featured Blogger", "Featured Advertiser", "Contests" and lots more to name. Nuffnang have organised events such as Family Day Out, Kidz Walkz, the latest Nike + Human Race and lots more events to be named. Nuffnang might occaissionally "forgets" to give you Ads but Nuffnang will not intentionally "forgets" you. Even though Nuffnang have thousands over members in their database, but I believe, Nuffnang will never forget about us!

So people out there, interested to get real know about Nuffnang?
Visit http://nuffnang.com.sg for Singapore. Or http://nuffnang.com.my for Malaysia.
Alternatively, you may wish to know more what's going on when you have signed up, visit Nuffnang's FAQs at http://www.nuffnang.com.sg/blogger-faq for more details.

In case you guys may not know how's the web page looks like, it's like this. :D

(For Singapore)


(For Malaysia)


And, it's late now.
Time for bed.

Early bird for tomorrow. =(
I've got to wake up at 5am for work. =(

INTO Malaysia tomorrow!

I wanted to update more.
But, suddenly, the feeling is gone.

In anyway, I'm heading to Malaysia tomorrow again :)



That's all for now.

Before I end, look at this CUTE report. :)



This was reported long ago when I saw it on the newspaper.
But just did not have the time to blog only.

:)

Malaysia Trip :D

I received a bouquet of bears from BF :D
He said, it was Part 1 of my Birthday present. :)
Check this out.





Accompanied BF for lunch. Waited for the food like 40 minutes long?! (Mind you, there isn't really a long queue ahead at all) Lesson was at 1pm. Food came at 12.40pm at IMM. I was plain lazy to go school already. So, I 'psycho' BF not to go school as I will be carrying the bouquet of bears to class, which will get attention from people. But then, main reason is PLAIN LAZY. So, BF suggested to go Malaysia for shopping. I was tempted by him. I said, "Ok, let's go in." After few minutes of discussion, he called up his mom, surprisingly, he was allowed to go out of Singapore. :) There goes our 1st virgin trip out of Singapore together. :) I'm happy + excited. After having his meals, we planned to go back and get our passports. :D

Before leaving the restaurant, I took a picture of my bears and I.



After getting the passports, we met again and headed into Malaysia. Malaysia sound nice yea, just only hanging around at Johor Bahru. LOL! We bought many things. I'm going in again with another friend, this Friday. :D Before we left, we had dinner at Secret Recipe. Their pricing is exactly the same as in Singapore. You know, in Singapore, we can have meals for up to SGD$40 for 2 heads. But in Malaysia, we spent RM40 for 2 heads. Imagine how is it cheaper compared to Singapore? BF and I suggested to come in Malaysia for dating. :D Haha! At least for dinner :)

Below is BF at Malaysia's Secret Recipe in action!





Oh ya! I forget to mention this, I bought myself bracelet for RM20 :) But unfortunately, it was broken up into 2 pieces. BUT BUT BUT! I repaired it myself perfectly. Now is back on my wrist again! :D

My dear BF, I hope we will have more time spending together.
I always dislike the feelings of department.
I want to travel to Malaysia with you again!

After much saying, I should have end here now. :)
Next time, anyone want to go Malaysia? My friends? Let's plan together :D

Good night! Enjoy.
Feel free to comment on my tagboard or haloscan. :)

Oh ya! I've included a Google search on my blog. Do use them if you need them. It's safe. :)

Nuffnang was DOWN!

Have you heard of it? Nuffnang in Singapore was down YESTERDAY!
Affected my unqiue visits badly.

But do Nuffnang take this in account?
I hope not.

And the wars between bloggers.
Have you heard of it?

The whole story I don't know.
But it's just between Dawn and XiaXue.

I'm just wondering.

Ask yourself a question, if people is just merely voicing out the opinions, must we get agitated EVEN if people is talking about us?

Ha~ I guess I know the feelings. I've been back-stabbed many times. But that's even worst then voicing out front. In anyway, I guess we shall just read the story and go on and not to KPO into the matter.

Hopefully, Xiaxue & Dawn will be peace out soon.
Want to know more about the story? I guess, you guys know what to do lar. :D

Another thing, I love weekends! But I hate taking MRT to work!
The train is always so PACKED! And can you imgaine some people just love to get whole of the railing (pole) and lie against it, occupying the whole of the space. But have they taught of people who doesn't know how to balance themselve much? I'm one of them. I'm kind of person who doesn't know how to balance myself VERY well. But some people are just plain INCONSIDERATE!

One sentence, "I just don't like to take trains, I prefer buses though it's a long journey from one place to another."

Even though Nuffnang was kinda down yesterday, after long awaited, I finally received an email that I've Ad!! I have waiting like months. Luckily, Nuffnang still remembers me. :P

I love Nuffnang!!
Who don't love for those who joined as a member of Nuffnang?

Hee~

Finally, I have kind of clear off some of my work.
I'm planning to go into Malaysia coming Friday.

May I know how to be a GOOD bloggers who have like hundreds of visitors in the blog?
This question have been always an question to me since I joined Nuffnang. I met some blogs that are irregular in blogging yet still have many supporters.

Advise me please.

Tell me how many lessons should I have for my driving lessons?
Tell me how to be good blogger who have lots of unqiue visit per day?

And!
Yesterday, I surprised BF with a present prepared for him.

I feel so proud :D

Driving Lesson #2

I had my driving lesson #2 today at 2pm.
I'm almost late for the lesson. In order not to be late, I took cab from my school back to home. Reason? I went school in the morning for make-up class and accompanied BF for lunch in school.
Cause, today's our ANNIVERSARY, our 1 year and 9 months together.

These whole of 1 year and 9 months, we have been through lots of ups and downs. In this recent month, we have been getting more good and good. I hope we can go on like this yea? :D

Today's lesson #2 was TERRIBLE!
Yes, you did not see the wrong word. I'm TERRIBLE!
I'm so tensed up, I saw accidents between a car and 'L' plate car. The 'L' plate car was badly 'injured'. I did nothing much in the driving lessons. Just drive and drive those test route, met lots of 'L' plate cars. My legs are not listening well to me for today.

Overall is TERRIBLE.
I hope to be better in my next lesson.
I'm just wondering, how many lessons should I have in a week?
My TP date is not up yet. My final theory is on 15th August 2008.
Advise me please!

I've learned the correct way of stopping. Tap brake then clutch then brake again. If brake immediately, then the car engine will die off. Instructor purposely teach wrongly just to let us get used to the clutch. :)

Heard of the wars around between bloggers?
Just stay tuned.
I will be back blogging. :)

I just need more time and time.
The back of my throat on my right and my right ear is something wrong. =/
I'm feeling not good~.

Next,
I have too many things to do already.

2 online quizzes to complete.
1 mini project to do.
1 maths PBL to complete.
1 lab test coming up next week.
2 lab mini project to do.
and...
Tons of dramas to watch.
driving lessons to attend.
working in the weekends.
21st birthdays celebrations to attend.
being a GOOD blogger.

what else?

i will come back soon.
please support me and visit me EVERYDAY!
also want to shop online?
visit http://fashionshoppers.blogspot.com

Thank you!
:D

my FIRST driving lesson.

Yesterday, I had my ever 1st driving lesson.
Overall is great!

Instructor taught me how to start the engine, what should I depress and what should I let go when the car is already on move.

Now changing of gears is tough, I think.
Though when moving the gears is easier. But one stupid thing that I will forget.
It's to place my hand ON the GEARS and not anywhere.
There's once I misplaced my hand to those air spaces.

The instructor and I talked through out the whole lesson.
And I have decided not to choose the time-slot for driving until SO late. Like 9pm.
Even though there isn't many cars on road, it's mentally tired for me.
I have school in the morning, then night time driving.
A bit tiring. =/

And my next lesson is tomorrow, 2pm again.

Instructor told me that I'm bad at my steering wheel. For gears, clutch, brake, accelerator, they are all fine with me. :D I'm looking forward to my next lessons. I guess each week I will have 2 lessons. :) As for my Final Theory, I will work hard and play hard as well. =P

The instructor is good, to me. :)
Anyone need driving instructor at Jurong, look for me.
PM me, email me. Anyways to contact me. :)
Trust me, he's good!

Overall in the first lesson, these are what I have learn.
1) Start engine by turning the keys.
2) Trying out the gears in the stationery car (when the engine is not started)
3) Trying the accelerator in the stationery car.
4) In order to change the gear while the engine is started, depress the clutch fully then change gear.
5) (In gear 1) For the car to move, add on a little of accelerator.
6) When the car is moving, letting go bit by bit of the accelerator.
7) Went off driving and turning.
8) When turning, let go the accelerator bit, then turn.
9) When stopping, let go the accelerator, depress the clutch, brake, then change gear to Neutral gear.
10) When changing of gear, let go the accelerator, depress the clutch, change gear to Neutral then to the desired gear.
11) After much practice, we went on road already!
12) Anticipating in the next lesson.

My instructor even went to ask me, "Is it FUN?"
I replied, "It's FUN! :D"

Oh yea, my brother, my BF and I all are under the same instructor. His name is Mr Lim. I addressed him as Uncle Lim in order to sound more, kinship? Haha!

Alright, I gotten stop here.
It's a long post about my driving lesson.
BF told me that, NYAA need these.
LOL!