Our Promises

This morning,

We promised each other.

1) I will be his qingxia.

2) He will be mine alvin.

3) We will care for one another's feelings.

We promised.

:)

It's ALL my FAULT!

1) We fought over a friend, William.
As days passed, that's an history.

2) We fought over blog-shop.
No matter what he says, I INSISTED HIM to JOIN me.

3) We fought over holidays.
I felt that he's not thinking for me.
He felt that i'm not thinking for him.

4) We fought over his attitude & my attitude.
I felt that he's the best of the best. He's the KING.
He felt that i'm the queen. I NEED empathy.

5) We are in BAD fight. Really BAD.

6) We fought over mis-understandings.
He will accuses me.
I don't do explanation.

7) We fought over LOVE.
I felt that he don't love me.
He felt that i don't love him.

8) He said we've NO future.

9) I'm ADDICTED to his presence for NOTICING me, CARE about me.

10) I still used to remember that I took up 2 jobs is to numb myself for HIM not accompanying me. Now, even he got no job, still he's time is PACKED. Oh well, that's MY BF?

11) I'm no longer the qingxia that you seen in ITE, excelling in her studies. Reason? I wanna be low profile.

12) I'm OFFICIALLY not INSIDE SPARC CCA at all. He is. Good luck to US. He will not have time for me ANYMORE.

13) Did he asked for a break up?

14) I truly hope he can understand me. He always says that I don't. Frankly speaking, I believe and CONFIDENTLY know him INSIDE OUT.

15) Don't expect me to be online tomorrow from 3pm onwards. :)

16) I'm truly deeply gotten HURT. Like a knife piercing through my HEART.
For him? He got no feelings. :) He's cool in anything. I'm nothing to him to affect his life at all.

I'm extremely UPSET.

I can't be what I'm.

I have to be what's he wants.

Everything is fucking my faults.

Everything is none of his faults.

How cool?

Why must you be so proud?
Why must you be so arrogant?

At times, I missed one of my friend whom he's treating me like an enemy, I guess.
But at the very least, no matter how proud he is, how arrogant he is, we still can get along well.

You?

I'm STANDING FAR FAR away.

I do not want this relationship to be the end.

But that doesn't mean that you can TOTALLY ignore my feelings.
You can, unless you want me to be an none-feelings human-being.

Get what I mean?

I'm EXTREMELY UPSET.
I do not wish to talk about anything at the moment, except MY school work.

I don't need a hypocrite.

"Please don't tell me you love me when you doesn't.
Please don't tell me you care for me when you doesn't.
Please don't tell me this is for my own good, but the fact, is solely for your own good.
Please don't tell me i'm your girlfriend when you don't think and be proud of.

Think for yourself?
Think for others?
Which one are you at?

Accusing me is always your first priority to make the decision.
After accusing me, you will feel better. :)
I knew it from start, no matter what i done to make you happy, the unhappy things will still happen. We will still bounced to fight and quarrel.

I wish, I hope that i will be brave enough to think that we will have our future.
But at times, the feelings of instability of the relationship shaken me a lot.

Even it's a small tiny winy mini fight/quarrel, it will hurt my heart more than anyone else.
More than you, him, her, she, he; definitely.

But who will be there for me when i need someone?

Sigh.

Someday, I hope you will be always there for me when I need you. I hope the someday will ever come for me and you only. But not anyone else.

And I had a feeling that, I'm really no longer important to you anymore. :)"

Been a week since I . . .

It's been almost a week.

Five days, i guess.

Well, I've been camp on weekends.
After camp, totally shagged.

Bedded for like 2 days.
Now, I felt much better.

However, I will be blogging soon, with photos, I hope.

Too much things to do already.

Will update soon!

Cya around :)

I hate that feeling =/

I met someone whom I doesn't want to see at all.
But, yet I see someone again.

I totally hate the feeling.
Perhaps, really no friends after a BGR.
So, my dear BF.
We will last ever, will we?


Good night.

LOST

Please don't tell me you love me when you doesn't.
Please don't tell me you care for me when you doesn't.
Please don't tell me this is for my own good, but the fact, is solely for your own good.
Please don't tell me i'm your girlfriend when you don't think and be proud of.

Think for yourself?
Think for others?
Which one are you at?

Accusing me is always your first priority to make the decision.
After accusing me, you will feel better. :)
I knew it from start, no matter what i done to make you happy, the unhappy things will still happen. We will still bounced to fight and quarrel.

I wish, I hope that i will be brave enough to think that we will have our future.
But at times, the feelings of instability of the relationship shaken me a lot.

Even it's a small tiny winy mini fight/quarrel, it will hurt my heart more than anyone else.
More than you, him, her, she, he; definitely.

But who will be there for me when i need someone?

Sigh.

Someday, I hope you will be always there for me when I need you. I hope the someday will ever come for me and you only. But not anyone else.

And I had a feeling that, I'm really no longer important to you anymore. :)

OMG, I think I'm stupid enough. =/

Did you read my previous entry?
I blogged and stated to watch yLva on Channel U, but do you know something?
I missed it.
Reason?
I'm drained out.
Which means, I went bed early.
:(
Led to miss the show.

Did anyone watched the show?
Did anyone recorded and posted on YouTube or something?

I want to watch.
Please let me know.

Apart from my stupidity, I'm at my office still. Working at this hour, of course.
Kinda slacking when there's no calls at the call centre over here. :)
Therefore, I have the time to blog. :)
And, I have been surfing the net and BF went don't know where.
He did not care about me on MSN.
:(
I'm working till 2300hours today.
But BF doesn't want to fetch me from work.
Sobx.
The office is so QUIET.
And I'm all alone.
>.<
First time in the office for so late and first time doing night shift in the office.
I went to tune up the volume of the radio.
Haha. :D
That's to be better for me, right?
LOL!

I'm drained once again.
I guess I need ample of sleep.
I hope this month' earnings should not be bad. :/
I have been working like, this weekend at the office.
On the Public Holiday, I'm working at McDonalds.

And, McDonald's is officially opened today at 6am.
The whole of renovation is done.
I believe this is the first and best outlet of look in Singapore.
None of the outlet have such a look and design.
Thinking where's the location?

It's just located directly opposite Bukit Batok MRT station. NOT located inside Westmall. :)
Have a dropby soon.
It's really awesome. :D
Maybe I will take a few pictures on Monday. :)

Okay, I'm gonna go plan my working days for my next month.
Cya around. :D

I wish. . . . Stay tuned this thurs, Channel U, 9.30pm

A feeling came to me, after I have read yLva's blog.

The phone calls.
The sweet.
and
The everything.

Everything has already been missing bits and pieces already.

But will be back occasionally.

However, let's hope it will be everlasting.

and Yes!

Please support yLva on Channel U this Thursday, 15th May 2008 @ 9.30pm / repeated telecast at 11.30pm.

:D

Nuffnang give me 2 weeks of Ads! =D

I have 2 weeks of Ads. :D

From 11 May to 17 May
and
From 25 May to 31 May

I'm gonna end my Ads for Blog2u soon. :)

Thank you.

But then, only when I took up Blog2u's Ad, then I realized that Nuffnang will actually change your membership to original when I'm advertising others Ad. And this led me cannot INNIT people or INNIT my post. =(

But it's coming to an end.

Initially, I thought I wouldn't have Ads coming in.
But Nuffnang did not fails to surprise me.

I still gotten it! =)

And, I'm extremely tired.

So, i shall take my rest now.

Blog again soon!

Support me please! =)

Is it a Good Day today?

Few days back,
I blogged that I will definitely do some actions to those tag-spammers at FashionShoppers.
Yes, I did.

I've lodged a complaint on them on intentionally harassing. :) That's what the police have told me.
However, if I would like to have the case turn out bigger, I will have to hire lawyer then.
Who have any recommendations on lawyers? (Just in case I might need them one day.) LOL! Hmm, ratings should not be too high. I'm not a rich tai-tai at all.

And that's the latest news for FashionShoppers.

However, last night, BF and I had a fight over one person. Shall not mention the name at all.
Read BF's blog. People who know us, will guess who's the person.
I did not managed to read what he blogged afterl I got home yesterday.
Well well well,
the post is awful.
At least to me, I think it is.

I'm being describe till . . . .

Sigh.

So the whole of last night, I did not talk to him much. Same goes today.
But, deep down in our hearts, I know that, both of us still cannot forget what have happened.
We are merely acting out that we are okay. Especially me.
=(

Therefore, due to his official graduation, we had Fish & Co.
Here's a picture of what we ordered.



It's too fulfilling already. But the atmosphere is not good at all.
I'm not pleased not with the person. But the feelings is not right for me.
Sigh.

Like I said, what's had happened already so. But we're not doing anything.
Nothing good will come out anyway.

Seriously, I do not know what to blog regarding this matter anymore.

Sigh.
Sigh.
Sigh.
Sigh.
Sigh.
Sigh.
Sigh.
Sigh.
Sigh.
Sigh.
Sigh.
Sigh.


JUST SET MY MIND FREE~

:'(

Fumed up. Definitely going to the police. :)

Wow.

Big news!

Read FashionShoppers' Tagboard.

Definitely going to lodge a complaint about it. :)

I guess, some people need their punishments too.

=\

Alrite, i'm heading back to work already.

See ya soon!

Upset. :`(

One word,
Upset.

I have been hanged up calls like 1234324 times in a day by my dearest BF.
But never mind.
It's just like a past.
I will just go back to the past.
Perhaps,
I don't initiate to call him up, I will not have such a treatment from him :D


Anyways,
it's been a long long time since I last blogged a proper one.

During these days,
I have realized a lot a lot of things.
One of it is Nuffnang.
I realized that Nuffnang changed my status of the membership due accepting a Ad offer by blog2u.
=(

But, I know what to do next time.

In any case,
I guess.
I shall not go any further.

My BF, if you read this.
I want to tell you.

No matter what I have done,
No matter what kinds of treatment I received from you,
No matter how nasty I'm to you,
No matter how bad you think I'm
One deep down in my heart is,

I still love you lots.

Believe it, up to you.

You know that I took up another job, refused to quit another has it's reasoning. :)
I just feel that I don't have a proper date with you for a very very very long time.
I just feel that I want to have a good chat like what couples usually do in a relationship rather than holding onto the phone doing our own things.

Do you know I'm missing the feeling of being in loved?
I know you will be feeling like - "I'm too. I'm missing the feeling of being in loved."

I just hate to be treated so coldly.
Say me, an attention-seeker or what.
But I just want the care and concern lots from you.

Sigh.

HOT DAY

It's a hot day.

Yesterday was a hot day.
So is today.

~.~

Yesterday, went work + Wilson's BBQ
Today, work.

But,
it's a hot hot day.

Even now.
I'm like gonna sweat~

._.



Hmmz

Bad day.

Bad bad bad bad day.

I failed my BTT.

Gonna retake them in 27 June 2008, Friday.

Actually,

it's a VERY simple test.

But,

I did not have the time & chance to study yesterday.

All have to blame myself.

Sigh.

I'm still down.

Blog next time.

Cya.

Wish me good luck.

Tomorrow I'm having Basic Theory Test.

But, I HAVEN'T study at all.

Wish me best of the best.

My mood is extremely down.

BYE.

It's so long since I . . . .

On my last entry,
I blogged about her.

But now, if you guys want to know what's still going on, do just visit FashionShopper's website @
http://fashionshoppers.blogspot.com

FashionShoppers' is not going to care or deal with such person anymore. :)

Anyway, FIRST week of school.
Wow.

On Monday, I almost wanna fall asleep. It's lecturing through out the 8am to 5pm lessons. How miserable! But, I did not attend the last lesson as I mention in my few entries back. I had a stomach flu, therefore I went off earlier.

On Tuesday, I attended my interview. They asked me a lots of questions. I did managed to get the answers back to them. By then, I'm on cross fingers that I will be selected. To me, it seems to have 1232476210 numbers of people who had sent in their resume to the company. BF accompanied me to interview that day. He said that the place is eerie. LOL!Oh ya. BF ended his lesson at 3pm. I'm supposed to end class at 4pm. But I got early release instead. However, he made me waited for him for like exactly about almost 1 hour at the MRT station. ~.~ We had Saske Sushi for dinner. Look at the amounts of plates we had. And FINALLY I can take pictures of them. LOL! (I wanted to do so but no chance as the plates will always be cleared off by the waitress as we're always having buffet style.)


We're contented. BF ate most of the food as that I will not over-eat them LOL!
So at the end of the day, his stomach is extremely too heavy to walk fast. HAHA!

On Wednesday, finally I have the chance to meet up my DEAR BF in school for LUNCH! =D Reason? We are having the same timing of break time. :) I will definitely looking forward to Wednesday again. LOL! We ended the class at the same timing too. =D

On Thursday, BF ended the class one hour later than me. This day, we are supposed to meet our suppliers as well as our buyers. Therefore, I went home. To put my heavy laptop then down to meet him again. This day, we had nothing in special.

** Seriously, I'm forgetting what I've done in this week.

On Friday, I went out alone in several places. To supplier's house, to meet buyers, to get bankbook changed and bought many food home YET cannot finish them. LOL! But did not meet up with BF.

On Saturday, it's an weekend. As usual, I got to work. I'm kinda blur at work. I actually forgotten what is the time that I tap my card OUT of work. Sheesh~ Hopefully, the hours will not be cut. And, the best part of the day is, I took a lot of photos with my colleagues. Fun shots! =)

On Sunday, REST day for me! I'm still thinking should I go out alone to hunt for my shoes or should I just slack at home. =/

Now I've summarized this week's activities.

I did not mention if I'm selected for the job. Here I go,

CONGRATULATIONS TO ME!
I'M IN FOR THE JOB!

I'm looking forward to this job. But, BF is worried for me in this job.

Next thing up, I have realized that ever since BF gotten his job for weekends. We are not been meeting for on weekends anymore. Usually, weekends are for couple to get along. For me, we're not. In the past, when I'm working, I will definitely have the time for him. Now, he did not choose and bother to have the time for me. And the days that we are meeting are like on weekdays. After school basis. It's been a long time since we lasted went dating together. Usually, we are always out for some other purposes but not ourselves. Now I've gotten the 2nd job for my weekends, I wonder. I guess, this is how I'm going to numb myself for wild thinking at home. Whenever I'm working, he's working. I'm alright with anything. But whenever I tap my card OUT of work. I will be like. "Great, I'm off for work." But I then, when I reach home. I will be like, "Sighed. He's at long day at work." Get the meanings? He never ever know such feelings of mine, I believe. Now that I have blogged this out, hopefully, he gets to understand bits and pieces. =)

Coming Saturday is Wilson's BBQ birthday celebration. Hopefully, that will be a good date out. But don't ever expect that he will be sending me home after the BBQ sessions. Reason is simple. He and I got to work the following day.

Though I may be sounded that I'm grumbling. But at times, I'm still a understanding GF.


3 types of faces.


3 fun shots.


My colleagues said this picture definitely doesn't look like me. LOL!
And I'm definitely not giving out 10 tips for perfect skin. Reason? I have my HEAVY EYE BAGS!

Another thing, these pictures are definitely not photo-shopped. =D
Nice shots yea?
I'm going to try them out again next time.
Too bad, Nokia phones do not have such functions.
But my digital cam is not a bad one ok. LOL!

See ya! =)

Continued ... Judge this FELLOW yourself

Look at this.
She said it herself.
Therefore, I can lodge a complaint to the police if I received them?



Sigh.

I wonder when it will stop.
=/

Judge this fellow yourself. Sigh.

Remember the buyer I mention in the earlier post?

Here's everything.

Look at this.


That was taken from FashionShopper's

She claims that FashionShoppers did not give her a date.
But look at this one.



Gosh~ =.=

Next picture is all the conversation.
I repeated, read ACCORDINGLY WITH THE TIME & DATE.




Now, she claims that FashionShoppers is not doing the right things.
And she even called up to settle outside with us.
OMG.
Look at the way she tag.
Don't you guys can think of something?

To me, she's really a bugger.

Do you know, the 1st time when I called her up(as she requested) I'm just got my fever went down only, she argued with me. Today, she called up again. (I'm a clinic seeing doctor)
Look at her. The way she bug me. I'm sick yet she can bug me and it was like. ... *fill in the blanks yourself*
Talked about her, make me fumed. *Arghh*

Yes, I mentioned I went to doctor again.
I had stomach flu this time round.
I did not attend my last lesson.
I went home instead.
Then diagnosed stomach flu again.
~.~
Doctor even asked if I need MC.
I told him, I need for today only.
He asked if I need for tomorrow. ROFL.
I told him, I can't as I have to go to school tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I've a job interview. =)
Wish me good luck! =D

Good night everyone! =)
Take care!

It's less than 12 hours!

It's less than like 12 hours to a new term again.

I'm going 21 this year.

The long journey of path I took for my studies. Think back again, when I'm in my secondary school days, the days where I only landed up in failing exams, the times where I will have to mug on my studies, get tutors to tuition. I even spent like nearly 1k of tuition fees for a month just to retake my o levels and get into poly.

But, in the end, I stayed in ITE through-out my 2 years. I excel in it. I done my school proud. Being the top student, gotten all the awards that could be awarded to me. And then, I continued my studies in Poly.

And long holidays, then I realized that I've been in poly for like 1 year already. And left ITE for like 1 year. I realized how time flies. I had never had such a feelings towards my studies before. Or perhaps, this is called "miss". Get what I mean? I'm gonna in Year 2 of Polytechnic in less than 12 hours. And it means that I'm left with Polytechnic like only merely for 2 years? And every time of poly days, I will be fearing of exams, what if I don't do well. What if I will have to forward my module. Especially my Maths. I really need a tutor out of it. Seriously, Polytechnic Maths is tough. Real tough. =( Any volunteers to teach me?

Yesterday, I mentioned I need rest.
Indeed after a good day rest, today I woke up feeling very very very much better. No longer in kind of feeling that I'm still a sick person. Just that my appetite isn't very good and well. But, it's okay. I guess, it will come back soon. Even it doesn't, I will treat it as a form of diet :D

And, tomorrow morning, I'm gonna wake up extreme extreme early for bathing about an hour. LOL! I believe I will, and I need. LOL! I need my hair get wash cleanly. LOL. I can't stand my oily hair now. I should say, I'm having a bad hair day today! I hate it!

Oh yea, next thing on hand, BF praised my English improved, accordingly to the post I posted on FashionShoppers' blog. =) And the blacklisted Valerie. =.= Read on the blog and you will know something.

Perhaps, I shouldn't just said refund and refunds the money.


!!!!

Alright, long post enough.
I got to go do housework and prepare myself for school tomorrow.
A bit of excitement.

Do you know why?

BF is in the same polytechnic with me! =)
But in different department.
> <

Continued...

My body starts to ache again.
Is my fever coming back?

I have been on fever since Thursday night, the last day of class. All the way until Friday night.
Then BF came to my place bring me to see doctor.

I slept thru-out the day. I sleep and sleep. I did not wake up for any meals.

And guess what? Thru-out the days, I lost like 3 kilos.
Congrats to me.
But, I'm suffering from sickness.

Oh my.. :(
I'm on diarrhea on and off too.
I even vomited once during the wee night.

I turned totally pale on Friday afternoon. :(
But, seriously, I had no reasons for the fever.

In any case,
I know I need rest. Rest and rest.

Also, I enjoyed the last day of class.
I'm the top scholar of the class as well as gotten the one and only award, Dazzling Star. :)
I made my store proud and myself and my trainer. :)
I'm really happy and turned nervous immediately. :)
I love the praises that people gave me.

In the job, I truly understand the meaning of work.
Work is not something that you hogging on. But somethings that you will gain something from.
I learned skills from them. Some skills that I think, no where that you can learn except you pay money in the course. (Something which I will not.) And I've gotten them free.

Alright, enough of blogging.
I really need rest.

Good night everyone!